Thursday, December 29, 2005

Stand Out!

It may not have been a wrist-watch that the horses used to time my arrival at the gate yesterday. I am thinking maybe it was the thin line of sunshine peeking over the horizon which by the way didn't happen this morning. The field was hidden in a dark, misty fog. For you English majors, I know you may think misty fog is a little redundant but believe me this morning there is no other way to describe it. Needless to say, I didn't see the horses at the gate. I didn't expect to in the fog.

I directed my car's headlights toward the gate, hoping to see them wandering up but they were no where to be found. I called out, I whistled, I shook grain, and made a lot of noise as I worked. There was still no sign of the horses as I filled the last bucket. I decided to walk up the hill and do a personal check of the water tank to confirm yesterday's report, "There was plenty of water, mom." Translated, "No, I didn't fill the tank like you asked." From the vantage point of the tank at the top of the hill, I hoped to see the horses. I climbed. (Note to sister: 'Yes, stairs would be awesome.')

From the vantage point of the top of the hill I still saw no horses. Actually, I didn't see much pasture either, only fog stretching across the land for miles with little tops of trees poking out. I walked to the hot fence to make sure it was still up and running. Still calling, still whistling, and still shaking the portion of grain I retained for noise-making purposes, I thought I caught sight of a figure in the lower pasture. I walked toward it and began making out its shape. It was large and dark and a hay bale. The thought of having to make that dreaded phone call, "The horses are gone," beckoned.

I followed the fence to ensure there were no breaks in the line when a patch of the fog seemed to be lighter than the rest. Interesting how the fog began to take shape, the shape of a short white horse named Stella. "Oh Stella, It's you!" I called out. "Bless your heart." She looked up at me as Stella does. Curious from a safe distance and always keeping her eyes on me.

Stella is not adventureous, she doesn't put her curiousity into action. Curiousity is a wonder, where adventure is the experience of that wonder. It is putting aside our fears, even temporarily, and crossing over a point of no return without knowing the outcome.

Stella always calculates her safety. She watches me from the back of the herd. But she is always watching me, even more than the others. I can see in her eyes she longs to come to me but the fear of the unknown outcome keeps her from approaching, from leaving the safe protection of her herd to check me out. Thus, she misses out on the rewards I have to offer her, a scratch on her chin or a rub down her neck.

To really experience all the rewards God has to offer us we have to be willing to set aside our fear. I am not talking about wreckless abandonment of all caution and care but just a willingness to step into your dream and live it. I have to thank all of the people who encouraged me to step into my dream. Especially my sister, Carol, and her husband, Mike, and the Dailey's, who encouraged me to step out and take the chance and who promised to be there to help me if or rather when things went wrong. Most of all they were excited for me. I have to thank God for my neighbor who has been so willing to help us out whenever we hit a snag. We really had no clue what we were doing and what an adventure we are on.

Sometimes it's like this morning, stepping out into the dark, misty fog not sure what is out there. One step at a time, I continued to call to Stella hoping to find her herdmates were with her. Certainly they hadn't wandered off and left her. As I walked toward her I thought I saw movement but whatever was out there was blending in with the fog. You've seen fog. It's white isn't it? Maybe light shades of gray. How do three dark horses, even a black one disappear in white fog and yet a white horse shows up. As I walked closer I began to see a black figure emmerge almost three horse lengths in front of Stella. It was DJ with Taffy and Punkin, as usual, on his tail.

In that moment the seal was bonded, my heart to Stella. She had helped me find the herd. She made me realize how we all from the day of our birth to the day of our death have a purpose to fulfill on this earth. Stella is an older horse, maybe twenty-eight years old. She has probably seen her better days of riding and to try to work her too hard would be cruel. She has earned a rest but that doesn't mean she has out-lived her purposefulness. The fact is we never know our purpose until the moment God reveals it to us. Today, Stella's purpose was to stand out in the crowd! That is God's ultimate purpose for all of us-- to stand out in the crowd, to shine his light through us into a dark world.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a great insightful story.

kiki said...

I second that, I felt like I was actually there as the story unfolded. Horses definitely fulfill God's purposes, too.