Preparing Riders for Christ

My Riding Journal-- May 25, 2011

2011-05-26T15:08:00.000-05:00

Q: What do you do if your horse starts bucking?
A: Raise your right arm.

Relationship 101: Rule #1

2011-05-22T15:23:00.001-05:00

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends." John 15: 12-13

   My thirteen year old son's aunt was graduating from college one Thursday evening and I had given him the choice to go with us to help her celebrate or to stay home. He was busy fixing up his room in hopes of getting a new computer over the weekend. He told me he was having a hard time deciding whether he wanted to go and help her celebrate or stay home and finish his project. He decided to stay home. "There are no do-overs," I said, "She will only graduate once."
   I got ready to leave and when I stopped by my son's room to tell him goodbye he jumped up and told me he was going with me. "I wasn't going but when you said there were no do-overs I realized my room project would still be here tomorrow but I could never go to her graduation again."
   The first thing to emphasize on any study about relationships is that relationships take time. "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." You have to give up time to yourself to make time for others even when it is something you'd rather not do. Sometimes just being with a friend is what they need. Maybe you sit quietly while they sleep in a hospital room or you sit in the audience at a service or program where all you give to them is a hug in a receiving line or a wave from a distance giving them only the fact that you showed up. How much you give will determine the depth of your commitment to the relationship.
   When my late husband was in the hospital I got a lot of phone calls from friends wanting updates and sending their best wishes but my best friend sat with me in the emergency room all night. She laid down her life for me so I would not have to go through the night alone. It wasn't comfortable. We slept in waiting room chairs. It certainly wasn't fun. I didn't feel like talking or joking or playing card games. I am sure she had a million tasks she put off to be there for me. But I can not imagine going through that without her there.
    My friend and I have always been good about dropping our lives to reach out to each other in crisis but as mothers of four kids trying to find time to enjoy each others company was more of a challenge. It is important to lay down our lives for each other in crisis as well as time to build the relationship in good times. When you need a helping hand moving, or a shoulder to lean on, or child picked up during your work day, a friend lays down their life and jumps in to help. Friends help celebrate the milestones and hang out in the quiet times, too.

     Rule #1 about relationships; Be there! Show up for the crises and the celebrations.

My Riding Journal- May 9, 2011

2011-05-09T11:01:00.001-05:00

      The best move I ever made was to change my regular schedule-- instead of riding after all my work was done I decided to ride first, then ranch work. Amazing how much I can accomplish after a ride and actually get my ride in because I am not too exhausted to ride. Thus, got a nice ride in today during the cool of the morning on my grand-horse, Apache. Our first ever ride, went well. I had heard he can be a little stubborn and I did have to use my encouraging stick to keep our transition smooth but he was amazingly willing to try to figure out what I wanted.
     I made our first ride short and sweet. We worked on walk-trot transitions and once he got his balance and realized I meant it he kept quite steady. Additionally, my goal was tempo. He seemed very concerned about the tall grass and the dog playing nearby but relaxed when I counted cadence at both the walk and the trot. Eventually, he relaxed and kept an even tempo when I didn't count out loud.
    Our transitions, which were quite rough at first, became smooth and more balanced as we practiced on the short sides. Tracking left I would prepare him with a little jiggle just before M, ask at M, and up my phases until I got a trot. At first he balked, stepping up into the trot on cue but only taking a step or two and then acting as if he crashed into a wall (I assume it was the bit he was fighting with). Not sure if he was used to riding with close contact on the bit. I practiced a few times giving him the reins and letting him move forward until he was comfortable with a little more contact during the transition. With a little encouragement from the crop, we began getting transitions on cue, with a steady tempo, and a continuous trot along the short sides until I asked for a walk at H. Repeating again preparing with the jiggle at K, asking at K, and on this side a little reminder at the gate, A, to keep him from stopping at the gate. Sometimes a little more encouragement at the quarter-line to get him to continue the trot around the corner until I asked him to walk at F. Of course, we repeated the exercise tracking right: preparing just before F and H, asking at F and H, and transitioning to the walk at M and K.
      The trot to walk transitions were a little troublesome although we had several good ones. Many of them were before I asked or taking too long to respond. I suppose I need to use a little more rein but then he would do a dead stop. Which by the way his walk down the centerline to a halt at X, was very nice, on cue and fairly straight.
      Thoughts for next time: work more on the walk-trot transitions and trot-walk transitions. Continue working on steady, tempo at both gaits and work on straight lines and adding circles to practice the bend. Apache needs a lot of saddle time to build up his balance. He was tripping all over the place and losing his balance and stumbling. I don't think it is from his foot because I see him playing and having no problem in the pasture. My guess is he is just not used to carrying a rider and needs to build up some new muscles and balance. One reason I'll keep our rides short this week.

INTRO OBJECTIVES (USDF):

forward with steady tempo in all gaits
elastic contact with independent hands (light, steady contact except during freewalk)
correctly balanced seat
proper geometry of figures

straightlines on rail and down centerline
correct bends in corners and circles
20m circles @ working trot rising
20m circle developing canter in first quarter of circle

smooth transitions

working trot rising to halt through walk
halt to working trot rising
working trot rising to med walk
med walk to working trot rising
med walk to free walk
free walk to med walk
working trot rising to canter
canter to working trot rising

A Circle of Wagons for You

2011-05-01T10:11:00.000-05:00

    Sometimes when you feel like life is attacking you straight on, you have to regroup and circle the wagons. The wagon train is a symbol of fellowship and protection. It represents folks doing life together. They travel together, share meals together, and share their resources with each other. When they set up a base camp, they form a circle of wagons around a common use area to serve as a defensive barrier. Children safely play inside while the wagon train provides protection around them in all directions.
    You can not circle the wagons with just one wagon. Even two wagons can not provide protection from attacks in all directions. If you are not in fellowship with other believers, you are leaving yourself and your family open to attack on all sides.
    Who are the travelers in your wagon community that are traveling alongside you. Who is it that you are doing life together with? Are you sharing your resources including gifts and talents with each other? Do you have a strong community that can circle around and provide a barrier for each other in times of attack?
    If you are like a lot of us who are traveling down this road too fast, too busy, and too distracted by a string of trivial pursuits you may be saying, "I don't have enough wagons in my group to protect us on all sides." If that is you, then it is time to get out and build up your wagon train again. Building a community of strong friendships and fellowship takes time and effort. For some of us who are not super outgoing socially it can seem like an insurmountable task. A strong community of believers helps minimize attacks and gives you the advantage when you are attacked.
   Over the next few posts I am going to offer some ideas on how to go about building up strong relationships and meaningful friendships that can eventually lead to a stronger community that you can do life together with.

My Riding Journal

2011-03-04T10:29:00.000-06:00

      Even though we have been having a lot of winter weather, we have gotten a lot of riding in. However, I haven't been keeping up with the riding journal. Have been riding at Tally Ho EC under the instruction of Amara Packwood. The first lesson was an impulsion lesson on a almost 17 hand slow to go beginning lesson horse. Trained to stop when his rider is off balance, I spent the whole lesson trying to get a 'go.' Guess I had some balance issues to work out. I did learn how to offer impulsion cues with my legs while posting. Additionally, learned which muscles I use posting that apparently I don't use for anything else.
     After that ordeal, I starting riding Sugar. Sugar also is happy to stop on the dime if you are off balance but very senstitive to cues. Unfortunately I do a lot of cueing that I am unaware of. After three weeks of riding Sugar, I have learned to maintain a better seat, keep my shoulders balanced, use my inside leg to keep her on the rail, avoid crossing my reins over the whithers, and to maintain a soft contact. In addition to the continuous implusion cues with my legs. Needless to say my thighs and calfs love me!
     This week I continued my work with canter departs from the posting trot. Did not realize that I need to stop posting, sit, and then ask for the canter depart. The trick is to sit with impulsion...LOL! In other words, sit while asking for forward impulsion so that the horse doesn't stop trotting. Then ask with a half halt (which I call a rein jiggle) to prepare the horse to listen for the next cue and then ask for the canter. The ask for canter is outside leg slight behind the girth and inside leg on the girth and check your hands to make sure they are soft then squeeze and let your hands go slightly forward making sure you don't brace against the reins. With Sugar I also have to encourage forward impulsion with a crop. Just a tap on the shoulder immediately after I squeeze usually does the trick. I then transition back to the trot and try to keep the impulsion. Working to keep or regain my balance and actually keep him from cutting the corners with my legs.
     My lessons to Opie transition was not as encouraging as I had hoped. Possibly because Opie just came out of the paddock after a long rest and wasn't listening very well at all. I expected to start up where we had left off-- a very positive note on our last ride in January. That didn't happen. It was obvious Opie wanted to be back at the hay bale just slightly barn sour. He even took off on me once when someone opened the arena gate. Our ride back to the barn wasn't much more impressive as he took off and cantered down the hill to the driveway and almost hit my car.
     I was much more encouraged after this week's lesson though. I felt I had a great sense of balance, I was able to stay balanced during the posting trot and keep Sugar on the rail with leg cues. The trot to canter transitions went well and I really didn't feel like I was going to come off during the down transtions even if he took a tight corner unexpectedly. I must say I was pleased and as an added bonus... I could still walk the next day.

December 19, 2010

2010-12-19T17:18:00.003-06:00

My Riding Journal- December 19, 2010

     Such a great day today. Almost 50 degrees in the middle of December and mostly cloudy turned into very sunny and beautiful. Opie was excited to come out and play. A little fuzzy and I had to add a few holes to his girth...LOL. We both were overdressed for the weather... He in his fuzzies and me in my silkies and a sweatshirt. Didn't take long for both of us to work up a sweat.
     Things went as planned with the exception of the neighbor's target shooting but I was successful in keeping Opie busy and paying attention to my requests. A little reassuring him that we were doing well and he relaxed.
     First thing on the agenda was to work through the warm-up pattern we're designing for riding school. Worked well for one horse--- we will see how well it will work with six horses in the pattern. Enter on the large track- come in at C and track left to your assigned letter. I used M. Turn right at your letter and halt on the centerline. Opie was a little distracted at the centerline and kept looking back over his shoulder--but otherwise straight. I think he was more worried about the cackling birds in the trees behind us and the gunshot sounds. After a 4 second halt at centerline, the horses ride on at the previous gait and track left and come all the way around to their letter again. Making a left at their letter and halting at the centerline completes the first warm-up segment. The instructor at this point can request the ride to walk-on or trot-on to the track and track right, repeating the pattern as many times as necessary to warm-up properly while correcting as necessary to get everyone in the proper balanced seat and to help with the transition to halt at the centerline practicing straightness. Today I practice the pattern several times with a mix of walk-trot and practicing the halt on the centerline.
     Then we moved on to the exercise I wanted to practice from The Right Track. "Learning the feeling of the half-halt." Opie was little confused during the exercise and it would have been helpful to have some eyes on the ground to help out. The exercise commenced with posting the trot on the track and asking for a walk for 5 steps at A, E, C and B and then returning to the posting trot. The plan was to continue reducing the steps from 5 to 4 to 3 to 2 to 1 until I could just ask for the walk, act like I changed my mind, and then ask for the trot. Well, we did get to the point where I could actually count 5 steps but Opie was a little frustrated and seemed confused at what I wanted from him. A couple times I think we actually were doing piaffes!! That was kind of cool but we sure didn't plan to.
  I practiced the first 3/4's of the Intro C pattern at the walk and rising trot. Could not remember the end and did not have a reader. Also practiced the canter depart on both leads. The left lead went very well and we practiced some 20 meter circles at the canter. However, had trouble getting the canter depart on the right lead. So we did a few serpentines at the rising trot and called it a day.
   It was a very pleasant ride. NOTE TO SELF: no more graining inside the paddock with four horses. So I'll plan to stop by the farm store and pick up a few more hanging buckets for the paddock. Just to keep things a little safer for my fragile human bones. Berry fights for his bucket or two with a powerful hind kick and that is just too close for comfort.
   Jazz was putting a lot more weight on her left foot. I think the bute is also giving her a little more empowerment to fight for top dog. However when all is said and done-- she is a pretty solid third.
   Anyway, it was awesome to have this window of opportunity for a spring weather ride in the middle of December. Another Great Winter Ride!!
   GOALS for NEXT RIDE:

Hopefuly will get a chance to ride the warm up with more than one horse so that we can get a feel for how that works.
Need to memorize the rest of the Intro tests so that I can practice without a reader.
The trot to walk and halt transitions are coming a long great. Still need some work on posting with balance and correct seat. I can see why some dressage arenas have the big mirrors. Definitely would have been of value today to ride by and check my seat.
Get with my riding school partner to practice some of the schooling exercises together so we can present them to the classes in the spring.

Thank you Connor for coming and being my safety spotter while I rode. I think Opie felt safer with you on post, too!

My Riding Journal- November 28, 2010

2010-11-28T22:55:00.000-06:00

     With temperatures dipping to below 30 degrees last week, it was a pleasant surprise to have a sunny 60 degree day after church to ride in. The wind was a little vicious in the corral tacking up but amazingly enough not so bad on the top tier riding in the arena. Had plan to take a try at Training Level with Opie. Training Level introduces the canter into the test and hey, we had a great canter depart and a canter on a 20 m circle last time.
     Warm up went swell, lots of posting and working on the downward transtions to the med. walk. Still need work. Did a little canter work, great departs but not so much going straight in a direction I chose. It was a little difficult to work with all the riders in the arena that the nice break in winter weather brought out to the ranch today. Although other than one near head on collision and one fall, all went well and everyone had a great time. Some may be sore tomorrow but if they are, they need to ride more often.
     Due to the inability to get direction at the canter and the crowded arena, I decided to opt out of starting training level today. Did some modifiied work on the introductory tests. The final Introductory A went well with an exception of riding down the rail from M-F. For some reason, Opie wanted to keep his head turned into the center of the arena when and to trail off the rail toward the center. At the canter that was exaggerated and we did a sort of sideways canter down the diagonal.
     All in all it was a great ride. I don't know if I had any great insights this ride but I did get some work done. Worked on keeping my legs under me and not over-exaggerating my post. I worked on the downward transitions, picking up the pace at the trot, and slowing down the canter without losing it.
     Next ride I need to work on the downward transition to the walk, staying at the pace of the working trot, the canter take off on the right lead and staying straight.
      I was so happy being able to get this ride in; not just cause it's winter but also because we have a long to do list that needed our attention. But at the end of this day I feel blessed to have squeezed so much in. Cleaned the house before church; enjoyed a great worship and teaching, picked up the hay rings, took the youngest to a play date, packed my boarding bag, visited my daughter, put out hay bales, had a post-turkey dinner, and spent a few hours in the saddle! What a sweet, sweet, sweet day at the ranch.

My Riding Journal- November 8, 2010

2010-11-15T11:36:00.000-06:00

Dodging rain and mud and a new chill in the air, I managed to work in a wonderful ride. Practice on the intro A tests went well and though I did not get Opie down to a med walk on command, I did eventually get him to walk from C-M where we picked up the working trot on command. Med walk went fairly well but asking for a free-walk on the diagonal always resulted in anticipation of a trot. After riding the test several times, I practiced the canter depart using the transition outlined in the Schooling Text:

jingle the inside lead to gain balance and attention,
ask for the canter depart with center pressure on the inside girth.

The first attempts failed as I do what I always do, as the horse departs I pull back on the reins and restrict the take off. FAIL. I did realize this right off and was able to correct my balance on takeoff. Determine a start point of C for a successful depart, jingle inside lead to set up, pressure on inside girth to ask for inside lead, as Opie lept forward I followed that motion with both wrists forward and let him take that step out into the canter. He lept into a well-balanced canter and I was able to maintain it with control asking for a circle at A. Although our circle was a little larger than 20m as planned, it was just icing on the cake of a great canter depart. I was able to repeat the canter depart on cue and the correct lead on command.
Was also able to get a recording of part of our ride. The video gave me some insight into my ride especially the fact that I was riding with my legs too far forward. I plan to shorten my stirrups slightly and concentrate on a more forward seat. Also want to try a little less height on posting and more practice on what lead and change reins while posting.

My Riding Journal

2010-10-31T14:08:00.001-05:00

Changes

Jazz's injury changed my whole mindset on riding. I guess it just gave me a lot of time to think about what I really wanted to do and what I would do without her! I was already planning to take her down the Dressage journey but I have to say my mind really opened up to it when I realized I probably wouldn't be riding her. When God closes one door, he opens another and I have been blessed to spend some time riding with my neice. She has graciously offered to let me ride her horse and not that others have not offered their equines for me, she actually has this horsey caught, tacked up, and knocks on my door and invites me out to ride with her. What a blessing this has been!

We have been discovering the joys of Dressage: a classical development and training of the horse and rider. I have found Opie to be very responsive and willing and at the same time able to point out the mistakes that I make on every horse I ride. He responds to both my direct and indirect requests and as such teaches me the cues I give when I don't mean to. The patterns help me ride with purpose and encourage me not to give up on a gait when I get tired and often just let the horse stop.

Yesterday, we rode warm-ups and apparently he realized I was tired and just stopped and I would say, "fine, go ahead and stop." When we started doing patterns I knew exactly when we wanted to stop, so I pushed myself to keep going, as well as, asked Opie to keep going. Another benefit of using exact patterns for training is you know exactly what you are suppose to be doing and for how long. So you also know when you aren't doing it.

The first day Opie kept surprising me. We'd be on a circle at the working trot and all the sudden we were walking. So I asked him back up into the trot and he responded fine. The problem was our working trot circle was a trot-walk circle. The next time we worked on that pattern I began to sense when Opie thought about stopping, I asked him back up into the trot. I thought, "I felt that-- you thought about walking didn't you?-- keep on trotting." What a major breakthrough! We actually made some pretty nice working trot circles. I actually felt the horse--- it was like "Ha...I can read your mind." What a boost in our partnership!

Well, when I am not riding. I am studying the patterns and movements in classical dressage training in anticipation of putting my new found knowledges to the test. This is pretty exciting stuff!!

R4C Ranch Trail Riding Fellowship

2010-07-13T13:54:00.000-05:00

This blog has moved to R4C RANCH TRAIL RIDING FELLOWSHIP seeking after the heart of God through equestrian and outdoor adventure.

The Mission of R4C Ranch is to mentor, inspire, and equip individuals to live passionately for Christ in their families, communities, and corporations.

Please join us at http://www.r4c-ridersforchrist.com/ for Christian fellowship and discipleship training.

Riders For Christ's purpose is to follow the one called "Faithful and True."
as inspired by Rev 19:11 "I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True." and Rev 19:14 "The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean." Because Christ purifies us, it is our desire to be called to follow our leader riding white horses,dressed in fine linen. Where fine linen is defined in Rev 19:8 as the righteous acts of the saints; we want to be riders that are dressed in fine linens; Riders For Christ, ready to ride when Christ returns.

You can't do what you're not doing: According to Connor

2010-02-28T22:47:00.000-06:00

"I don't know why you keep asking me to do things I am not doing. If I start doing things I am not doing I would not be able to do anything because I'd be doing things I am not doing."

Tips for Portion Control

2010-02-12T10:42:00.000-06:00

1. If you eat in front of the TV or on the go, only take with you the portion you intend to eat. Put one serving of chips on a plate, don't take the whole bag with you to your chair.

2. If you enjoy going back for seconds, only take a 1/2 portion on the first serving. Then enjoy going back for seconds, taking only another 1/2 portion.

3. When eating for one, make and put your servings on your plate then put the food and ingredients away before you sit down to eat.

4. Read the labels. A good snack serving is 100-140 calories. Take less of your snack if necessary. Begin replacing higher calorie snacks that only let you get a taste of them with lower calorie snacks that allow you to enjoy more.

5. Begin replacing less nutritious snacks with those that pack more nutrition in them per calorie. Alternate your favorite less desireable snacks with more nutritious alternatives and make a note about how you feel afterwards. A few bites of chocolate cake for 10 baby carrots. Which one makes you feel more energized?

Truth

2009-08-17T14:32:00.002-05:00

It doesn't matter whether you believe it or not, truth is truth. The truth doesn't change because you don't believe it. Obviously many people have different beliefs than you or I, to varying degrees. We all have a set of beliefs based upon our experience, our family traditions, our studies, our own sense of logic and intuition, or the people we believe to hold the wisdom to explain the truth to us. Sometimes what we believe is evident but sometimes our beliefs are hidden even from our conscious decision to believe them. I say that because sometimes you say you believe one thing but totally act like you believe another. This can be true for Christians as well. You may intellectually believe the tenets of your Christian Faith but then act in ways contrary to that belief. Maybe you know what you believe but have no idea why you chose to believe it. You based your life on a set of beliefs and when challenged you have nothing to offer sufficient to back up your claims.
God offered a lot of evidence in the new testament to attest to the fact that God was behind all of the miracles recorded there. In the old testament God encouraged the use of reason and logic and offered signs to give evidence to lead people to faith in him. A faith he commanded to be evident by their changed lives.
Does your life evidence the faith claims you espouse? Do you know what you believe and why you believe it? Can you stand and make a defense for you faith?
If you believe the bible is true, is the inspired word of God for instructing your life, and contains your Hope for an eternal life, then are you prepared to defend it as the true, inspired word of God? 1 Peter 3:15 (RSV) says, "Always be prepared to make defense to anyone who calls you to account for the hope that is in you."

JOY UNFOLDING

2008-11-10T12:37:00.008-06:00

"You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.

You have taken away my clothes of mourning and

clothed me with joy,

that I might sing praises to you and not be silent.

O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever." Psalm 30:11-12

The greatest Joy I have had as a beleiver is watching God's joy unfolding. Even when it seems He is far away and nothing is happening like I wish it would, I know that He is working out the best for me. Through trials and even suffering, I know that God will never leave me. When I cry out in despair and when I sing praises of Joy, God is there. When I feel forgotten and alone, I know that God is there.

When I look back I see his presence. When I look around I feel him near. When I look ahead I hear him calling. I unfold the wings He gave me and I wait upon my Lord. I feel his breath touch my spirit and soon I know His power is coming and I will soar upon His wind.

USA - Forever His

2008-11-06T12:27:00.006-06:00

"Son of man, you live among rebels who have eyes but refuse to see. They have ears but refuse to hear. For they are a rebellious people. ... Pretend you are being sent into exile for they will be driven into exile as captives. ... The time has come.
Evil prophets deceive my people by saying "ALL IS PEACEFUL" when there is NO PEACE at all. It's as if the people have built a filmsey wall and these people are trying to reinforce it with whitewash.
You have discouraged the righteous with your lies, but I did not want them to be sad.
You have encouraged the wicked by promising them life, even though they continue in their sins.
False prophets and those who seek their guideance will be punished for their sins.
But you will be my people and I will be your God.
You have taken your vows lightly by breaking your covenant,
Yet, I will remember the convenant with you when you were young and I will establish an everlasting convenant with you." Ezkiel 12:1-16:60

I found this post 2008 Elections bible reading suggestive of the signs of the times. The excerpts above just struck me as significant to the Christians in this country today-- living among those who refuse to see or listen, who mislead others, who are discouraged by the direction the country is taking, and Yet put their trust in God for all their hope and strength. Their peace comes from Christ not the promises of men or governments. I believe this country was built upon a convenant with God and though we might not be able to keep it -- with God all things are possible. Sometimes it may seem that the country has drifted very far from the faith of our founding fathers, I think last Tuesday night God showed us enough to encourage us that He has not forgotten the convenant he made with them when this country was young and He has not forgotten us. He is still our God and we are still His people.

Quiet Voice Heard Loudly

2008-06-23T10:45:00.022-05:00

When you hear the quiet, still voice of the Holy Spirit screaming in your ear, the peace of God envelops you. Game on.

The moment you hear from God it seems Satan attacks. He wants to steal that peace, veer you off the course God laid out for you, and seperate you from the Joy God has given you.

At the beginning of the week, I was struggling with the fact that a friend of mine's daughter was going to college, something I had always wanted my children to do. But the dream had waned as I struggled just to get my kids through High School. The older kids went off and made other choices and so did I. I bought the ranch. Now I was no longer in a position to fully fund their college.

With rising fuel expenses and numerous repair bills piling up at the ranch, I was feeling great heartache over not being able to pay for my son's tech school. He is a gifted mechanic and impressive welder. Tuesday morning my soul was overwhelmed with grief about not being able to pay for his school and then compounded by the "what ifs" if my other children would have decided to go to college, and a little self-indulgence about how much traveling and financial freedom I would have without the ranch. Before I got into too much turmoil over it, I stopped to pray about it. So glad I did!

In the quiet, still voice the Holy Spirit started unfolding God's answer to my prayer. The first thing I found was a career webpage about welding and a mechanic's career path and how very few of them go to college. The path of choice is an apprentice program where they learn on the job. When I got home, my son told me about a program he had found for a certificate at a lube shop he was interested in. He is also checking into other programs offered at body shops that would allow him to use the welding skills he learned in High School. Okay-- Thank you, Lord, for that reassurance.

Soon I had an opportunity to be reminded about the acheivements my other children were making. Amanda was explaining to a friend about her career path in Law Enforcement and how excited she was about it. She doesn't know this but I had turn away and wipe away the tears because I knew over hearing that was God saying-- hey I promised to take care of your kids. Lennon is enjoying traveling and touring the world (I do mean the world: Hawaii, Japan, Pennsylvania, Germany, and the not so popular one, Iraq). He is enjoying his travels and his job will open up many opportunities for him if he chooses to get out of the service.
So having been reassured that my kids were doing fine without a college fund, God in his quiet, still voice continued to yell at me. We had an excellent week at the ranch. Shafina's owners have been out working with her and training her to show this fall at the American Royal. Carol's been practicing her Parelli levels and I actually posted on Jazz (this means a lot of things happened I won't go into detail at this point). We have had several open ranch days at the ranch this month and it has been such a blessing to see everyone coming out and enjoying the horses and the retreat. The ranch has blessed so many people this spring; fishing, camping, and horsing around.

On Monday Night I let Satan take a stab at my soul, but . . .

On Tuesday, On Wednesday,

On Thursday, On Friday,

On Saturday, and On Sunday

. . . God continued to show me glimpses of his plans for the ranch and blessings that he will pour out on those who are drawn here. I am so grateful to be a part of it and for everyone who has and are making this dream come true. Sunday, as we cooled off in the shade from an afternoon of fun in the sun, we had an opportunity to talk about more spiritual things. We shared stories of when God spoke clearly to us and witnessed how quickly Satan tries to take those moments from us. When God speaks to you write it on your heart, remind yourself of it often, share it with others boldly, do not let Satan take from you the Holy Spirit's Quiet, Still Voice You Once Heard Loudly - - - think on those great moments often.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.(Philipians 4:4-9)"

Circle the Wagons

2008-05-10T16:54:00.010-05:00

Time to circle the wagons. In pioneer days, the wagon trains would circle their wagons to form a defensive boundary around their base camp. Children would be allowed to play inside in safety. No matter what direction an attack came from the barrier would protect them.

Ever play "Red Rover?" A game where your team members clasp arms and yell, "Red Rover, Red Rover send Becky right over," and Becky then runs over and tries to decide the weakest link to break through your teams' arms. A weak player is strengthened by their bond to a strong one.

Circling the wagons provides the same type of protection. The team forming what they hope will be a protective perimeter to keep threats away from their precious ones inside: their children. You can not circle the wagons with one wagon. You can not circle the wagons with two wagons and maybe not even three. You need a team, a wagon train.

The wagon train is like a fellowship. A community that comes together to journey down the same path, caravanning together toward the same destination. When there is a threat, they circle the wagons to help protect each other from an attack. We live in a time of spiritual attack, we need to join with other believers and circle the wagons.

It's Just a Tree

2008-05-04T16:56:00.016-05:00

We were lucky, we only lost a few trees during the storms last week and having 77 acres we have lots of trees to spare. Many people lost a lot more, entire houses completely destroyed. Although even they were lucky enough to escape with their lives. I am really glad all we lost were a few trees but I am sad about the loss of one tree in particular.

When my husband died in 2002, his family planted a tree in our front yard. An ash tree that grew in that spot for three years. When we decided move to a new home we told ourselves, "It's just a tree," but when the person who bought our house said she was going to cut it down we were very sad. We asked if they could remove it in a way that we could move it and replant it. Since it was only three years old at the time with care there was a chance it could survive the move. In order for it to survive, the tree removal service was asked to cut out around its root ball which is usually the same size underground as the tree growth above the ground. They agreed to try to save the rootball and were to call us and let us know when they would be removing the tree so we could pick it up. We planned to wrap it in burlap to keep the soil around the roots damp.

The day they called it was over 100 degrees. They called us at 3:30pm to let us know the tree had been cut down that morning around 8 o'clock in the morning. Cut in the cool but left sitting out in the heat with no water and very little of the root ball in tact and no original dirt left on the roots, discouraged we piled it into the back of the truck and hauled it about thirty miles. In the sweltering heat we dug a few holes trying to find a place bury this whithering tree.

As I watched the last leaf fall from its branches a few weeks later, I tried to convince myself, "It's just a tree." I reminded myself it was not my husband, if the tree survived I would still be living life without him but watching this tree die was very emotional. It reminded me of the last months and the last hours watching my husband's life fade away. The first summer we lived at the new house I avoided spending two much time dwelling on the stick that stuck out of the ground without a single leaf on it. However, I followed the advice of a friend and kept watering it but had no expectations of it coming back. Either it would or it wouldn't and either way, it won't change the fact that my husband died and this stick was just a dying tree.

I managed to ignore the stick in the ground all winter. In the spring, even when the other trees all around it were budding and growing thick shawls of green the stick that stuck in the ground without a bud on never bothered me. To me, "It was just a tree." It was just a tree until the day I noticed something on it's branch, what was that I wondered, "A bud?" It was a bud. The tree was budding, it survived. Within a few weeks it was more than a stick, it was a tree with green leaves on it. Within a few weeks it was more than a tree, it was the center of a wonderful memorial garden for my husband.

For the last three years, the tree has bloomed with a larger and larger bouquet of green leaves. Although always the last tree to bud in the spring, sort of like my husband, always late. The tree has become the center of celebrating how much his life meant to us. Last Christmas the kids decorated the tree with special ornaments they bought for him, each with its special significance to one of his children. It has been filled with chimes they have collected in his memory. The tree is now the center of the prime memorial grounds for beloved pets buried in the garden. As special as the tree has become, when I heard the news that the storm had taken out the tree, I told myself, "It's just a tree." It is not like my husband was taken out by the storm, "It's just a tree."

The kids and I tried to detach our emotions for our beloved husband and father, from this tree. Although we were sad to hear and see the tree snapped in half about a foot off the ground, we knew in our hearts it wasn't another loss of a person but just a tree. With or without the tree, we still miss him. I think even my father-in-law was sad to hear about the tree. I think he was happy when he learned that the tree got moved to the new property and survived. There was something about that tree that touched everyones' hearts. He said we should check the tree and see if had grown any saplings around it.

So I quickly ran out to check,

and there around the base of the tree

was abundant new life.

After I told everyone at least twice about the saplings growing from the rootball of the tree, I realized, "It was more than tree." It was a tree that had touched my heart. Until my husband and I meet again, it is the little things, like this tree, that keep our hearts connected.

Within hours of finding the saplings, a new garden began to appear around the fallen tree.

These words from an Oakridge Boys song ring out, "You are always in our hearts, and often on our minds, we will never let that die, just as long as we're alive"

Campfire Worship Ring Awaits You, Come.

2008-04-29T11:16:00.006-05:00

We have our first fire ring! When I got home last night my brother-in-law, Mike, showed me a picture of an awesome fire ring. Thinking he was going to ask me if that was what I had in mind I asked, "Where is that located?" He said, "Right where you wanted it!" Cool, huh! Thanks, Mike.

'Come, Now is the time for Worship!' --- the campfire worship ring awaits you and your acoustic instruments and singing voices. Bring your camp chairs, bring your coolers, bring your flashlights (for trekking back up the hill at night), bring your Backwoods Cutter, along with your hotdogs and marshmellows!

Have you seen Maxwell?

2008-04-28T08:07:00.005-05:00

LOST: MAXWELL -- LAST SEEN ON
225th Street, North of Tonganoxie

PLEASE HELP US FIND MAXWELL

It is hard to tell about animals. God gifted each of us with unique personalities and kitties are no exception. We thought if we just got Maxwell to the barn he would enjoy the refuge there. Little boy loves to play on the hay bales and visit with the other cats, not Maxwell. Scooby learned that if he doesn't run it is okay to kiss a dog on the mouth, not Maxwell. Maxwell's story is much different. Even though he had a pet dog at his old home, he freaked out when he met the dogs and they responded reactively making things worse. We did manage to get him to the barn and saw him a few days later under the hay bales. But no one has seen him for several days. There was a report of a cat that looked very similiar to Maxwell on 225th street but he ran away when called. If you have seen Maxwell, please let us know. We miss him!

Quest

2008-04-27T21:11:00.006-05:00

Sundays at the ranch are designed to be laid back. Impromptu is the word of the day. Not like a Saturday where we have a list of tasks we have planned to try to get accomplished, Sundays are spontaneous. Lunch, after morning worship, leads us into the arms of our creator for whatever it is we need.

Today I had decided to call my horse up to the barn and doctor her wound. Reminded me of our Sunday teaching about Jesus healing on the Sabbath. I had to grin that I too would be helping heal on a Sunday, tending to the healing of the horse. Okay, it is a different magnitude but I still got to join in on God's healing process by applying the wound Kote. I called but Jazz didn't even look up from her munching of green grass to acknowledge my presence on the top of the ridge. However, my call did spark the interest of one of the white arabians and I assumed it was Chantol. She loves to visit with her humans and follows us around the pastures. About half way up the hill I realized it wasn't Chantol after all, it was Quest.

Quest came to the ranch a little over a year ago because he was pasture buddies with Mystic. He got on the trailer with her and so his owners gave him to us as a bonus. His riding history is unknown but he would not let us near him to put on a halter. I spent the better part of last summer playing the friendly game with him in a small square pen and getting him to accept the halter. He has been out to pasture with the herd since last fall and is not one of the horses that comes readily up to greet us when we walk among the herd.

Today he ran up, accepted a treat and when I opened the gate and walked away he ventured inside. With a little work and lots of friendly game that included treats, I was able to halter him. We just played on the lead line and the horse on his left side seemed very happy to be with me but the horse on the right side was more into rearing and calling out to the herd. Ever feel like you have two people inside. One is okay with your situation, the other side is over reacting to it. Horses don't communicate well between brain hemispheres but I have never seen anything like this extreme in Quest today. If I stood on his left, he was calm and okay with me but when I stood on the right he was reactive to the extreme. He kept trying to put me back on the left side and even reared up a few times.

It was still a treat to have such a God given opportunity to play with Quest. It got me really fired up about working the horses this year. Galahad and Zippi's first rides are planned for this summer. I look forward to seeing them all undersaddle this summer-- I guess we have our hands full-- Quest, Mystic, Apache, Galahad, Zippi, and Taffy. Each of them have their own story, their own personalities, their own challenges. I have often dreamed of riding on Quest-- isn't he beautiful? Just as the photo illustrates, he is a beautiful mover and as we build up his confidence this spring his Quest is just beginning.

While all this dreaming was happening at the barn the boys were out fishing. Rosco caught his fish again-- rumor has it he has made a deal with a couple fish that if they allow him and only him to catch them he'll throw them back. It must be Wilbur's family-- right Tiger?

What are your ranch stories? Let us know about your adventures at the ranch. Are you on a Quest?

Too muddy, Two pockets of sunshine

2008-04-26T22:32:00.005-05:00

It was too muddy to take the paddle boat down to the pond today. At least it was too muddy to drive the truck in the boggy parts of the Back 40. Rosco says we didn't get the truck stuck because if the truck was stuck it would still be out there. "I didn't mean to farm the pasture, mom." Oh I am the mom.
It was too muddy to take the paddle boat down to the pond today. However, we took the paddle boat down to the pond today. Connor took her out on her maiden voyage of "Big Cat Lake." He put her to work chopping up algae so we can spray the pond when the water warms up to 60 degrees.
We woke up this morning and it was only 37 degrees. No one thought we would have the wonderful warm afternoon that we did. We were able to get the yard cleaned up and mowed and get the paddle boat down to "Big Cat Lake" without getting the truck stuck. Although the truck did stop moving forward and appeared to be moving in a downward direction, technically it was not stuck or it would still be out there sinking.
Our pocket of sunshine disappeared shortly after we soaked up a few sunrays at the pond but returned for an early evening of horsing around. Ali and Jazz agreed to let us catch them for their spring grooming. Our new friend, Dena, even got to show off her horseriding skills on Ali. Very impressive!
We squeezed all this into the last pocket of sunshine before it started raining as the last hot dog came off the grill for a late night meal.
We squeezed a lot into two pockets of sunshine today even though it was too muddy.

Spring is here!

2008-04-25T23:04:00.003-05:00

Spring is here I am just sure of it! As slow as God seems to fully declare it, remembering the weekly ice and snow of winter is evidence enough that spring is really here. Although, walking out in the wind and chilling mist this morning may have made me question it. I may have been a little dramatic in declaring it was a blizzard and thankful there would be no need to bundle up and pull anyone out of a ditch -- again. How many times did we do that this winter?
Spring is here I am just sure of it! The trees have green leaves emerging from their winter slumber. The pastures are displaying a light green blanket pleasantly not quite long enough to mow. The crack of lightning and roar of thunder this week made me wonder if we had the right month turned over on the calendar. Wasn't it March that came in like a lion and out like a lamb? Is it really the end of April?
Whatever the date, we are looking forward to a pocket of sunshine at the ranch tomorrow and plan to bring up a couple more horses for Spring grooming. We'll be putting final plans on the locations of the campfire rings and hopefully, if it dries up enough to transport, we will get the paddle boat down to the pond.
It is true that "April showers bring May flowers," even if it rains ice pellets. This is what muck boots and stiff (aka favorite) socks are for!!

Dream it!

2008-04-22T10:24:00.004-05:00

"Build it, they'll come," My sister said. "Dream it, they'll build it," God said.
God is doing great things at R4C Ranch and with only a couple of decent outdoor days so far I feel like we have accomplished so much. And so many people are calling and asking about the ranch, we are just so excited about getting to share this wonderful refuge with you. If we didn't get a chance to call you back come on out on Sunday for 'Open Ranch Day,' we would love to meet you and show you around.
We had an awesome day playing horsey Sunday. Wasn't it gorgeous weather? The horses were great and we spent the afternoon grooming a few of them and getting a few of them trimmed up and ready to go to work. I was so glad to get to stretch and take a short hike down to the retreat. We planned the locations of our fire rings (a small ring for boggy days and a large ring for the days when the bog dries up a little). We are going to put the campfire cafe in the small ring. Now that is what I am talking about! And if we get enough strong men out here one Sunday we might get to move a few logs to create our campfire worship ring. I am so excited about that. We found plenty of wood to burn so campfires shouldn't be scarce this summer.
I will put a list on the website but don't forget to bring your water bottles, deep woods off or backwoods cutter (for ticks-- sorry we are still in a fallen world), and camp chairs.
Keep checking back to the blog for more ranch stories. Check in with your comments and let us know about your adventures.
Thanks to everyone for helping this dream come true, to the kids for letting me drag them along on my wild adventures (more on that later), to Mike and Leland for shoring up those fences after the big storm and helping me round up the horses (more on that later, too), to Carol for dreaming with me, to Mom and Dad (who dream in green and yellow) for encouraging and supporting our dreams, and to our heavenly Father for His wisdom, mercy, and grace through Christ.

About Adults

2008-04-11T11:46:00.002-05:00

A Connorism:
As I tucked my 10 year-old into bed last night, he asked me a question for which I gave him a thoughtful answer. He then announced, "You know, I have discovered there is more to adults than just being old. They are a fountain of knowledge. I guess they just soak that up along the way."

Lost Passion

2008-04-10T16:11:00.010-05:00

After passionately getting into a mud fight with my oldest son at the gas station (I'll explain later), I realized something about the state of Christian evangelism in this country (from my humble observations). The story began when I met my son at the gas station to fill up my truck with gas. He had borrowed the truck and I specifically told him to keep it on the road. However, as I walked past the truck I noticed it was extremely dirty. It had mud covering the sides and windows and even some on the hood and roof. When I asked him about it, he said, "It rained and the dirt roads were muddy."
"But that is a lot of mud" I said then looked at the front and noticed strands of hay stuck in the mud and hanging from the bumper and mirrors. "Ummm... was there hay on the road."
His explanation seemed lame at the time and infuriated me. I let him know how I felt explaining my disappointment in a fit of passion that culminated in us throwing chunks of mud at each other.
The point of this story is not that I was right and he was wrong or even how I let this object be the source of a heated battle in front of his friends that may have jeapordized our relationship. Although I am saddened by both of our behavior. But what really amazed me is when I thought about the passion I put into that exchange in my desire for his respect, his honestly, and his obedience to such an extent that I have never gone to in the pursuit to save his soul.
As I thought about that, I thought about all the robust debates and arguments and passion in this country and realized I have never witnessed any such level of energy when it comes to Christians reaching out to the lost souls. I have heard many stories about how much peace one has about knowing they are saved and going to heaven but never any agony about how the lost are lost and going to hell. If we truly believe in our heavenly bliss, then do we not truly believe in the weeping and gnashing of teeth that the lost, some of our dearest loved ones included, will endure for eternity. Isn't that more important than a dirty truck and torn up hayfield?Yet, it grieves me that I have never got as passionate as that battle at the gas station in the pursuit to save my own son's soul.

Saving Maxwell

2008-04-07T09:46:00.005-05:00

I learned something new about myself yesterday. I will sacrifice a foot but not a hand. I wonder why. Certainly, walking is better than handling things but under pressure I was willing to sacrifice the foot and not the hand. The decision came under great diress. We were introducing a new cat to the mix of too many farm animals that live on the property. On the way to the barn the dogs came up to introduce themselves and Maxwell, the cat, freaked out. Luckily, I was not the one holding him. After the cat handler was able to dig the cat out from underneath his skin, literally, Maxwell ran away from the barn and up to the house to hide in one of the window wells. While the original cat handler was in receiving first aid treatment, I proceeded to find Maxwell and see if I could persuade him to hide in the barn away from the dogs. However, the dogs figured out what I was up to and they obviously wanted to repay Maxwell's initial greeting of hisses and growls and scratches with equal impact of barks, growls, and fur-flying.
So back to the story of the foot instead of the hand enlightenment. During the attack of three dogs against one cat, I decided to go in and save Maxwell. In pulling the dogs off I refrained from intruding with any of my limbs. But as fur was flying, urgency was of upmost importance so I went into the middle of the pack with my foot. I attempted to push the dogs away from the cat without exposing too much leg. When that didn't work I stepped back and punted. Score! Dogs and fur flying, I covered Maxwell with a rubber tub for which he seemed grateful and would not come out of.
In the whole process, I discovered something about myself. I would sacrifice my foot but not my hands. Why is that? Do I prefer handling things, touching things, over walking? Have you ever played that game where you try to decided which of your five senses you would be willing to lose if you had to lose just one? Which limb would you be willing lose if you had to give one up?
Unfortunately, many of our troops that are returning home from battle with missing limbs or senses didn't get to choose. They didn't get to choose which limb or which sense or how many limbs or senses they would prefer to lose. All they knew is in the heat of the battle, they had to save Maxwell. They went for it without really thinking, some more willing than I, jumped in with their whole bodies giving their all. Some sacrificing much, some sacrificing all, and all sacrificing something. In the end, they all will learn something about themselves and much more: They will learn that they are braver than they thought they were, that their team is more important than any member acting alone, and that God is bigger than most people say He is.
Who is Maxwell anyway? What are you willing to sacrifice for the Maxwells in your life?

A Sister's Love

2008-03-29T21:29:00.003-05:00

When my daughter was old enough, she begged me to have another girl because she wanted a sister. My sister and I were not really very close at the time. We had lived in other states since I was 16 and had gotten busy in our own little worlds. Remembering our sibling rivalries, I advised my daughter against having a sister. But every once in awhile, my sister and I would seem to be "in sync" with each other even if it only lasted a short time. She approved my "For List" when I got married, took a Sacred Path journey with me, and we even took our daughters to horseback riding lessons where we enjoyed riding as much as they did. And in between these adventures we both wondered how we could actually have been born into the same family, we felt we were so different. We would drift away from each other and get sucked back into our little worlds.
You have probably heard about friendships, that there are three types: the one that lasts a lifetime, the one that lasts a season, and the one that is only there for a reason. The great thing about a sister's love is that it is a friendship that has the opportunity to be all three. Even if you try to emancipate yourself, a sisters' love binds you together. And when family stuff always brings you back together even for a brief encounter like in a hospital waiting room, it's all you need to sync up again.
When I was in junior high, I had a good friend who was best friends with her little sister. I wanted that so much but every time I tried to bring my big teenage sister around it didn't work out. Either her friends talked her out of it or my friends talked me out of it and we went back to our sibling rivalry. Eventually, my friend from junior high school had drifted apart from her sister. Fortunately, for us my sister and I came to a point as mature women where we both realized we had become each others' best friend. A sister's love is like that-- it ebbs and flows but like an ocean wave it always come back in to wash over you. And I know that my friends from Junior High will always have opportunities to sync up again and if they are lucky, they will reignite their friendship. Sadly, my daughter will not have the chance to do this since she was the only girl in a family of four boys. But I imagine that will have its perks, too, as family stuff brings them back together over a lifetime.
In the meantime, I will treasure my sister's love for the reasons we are there for each other, for the seasons we came in and out of each other's bond, and for a lifetime of friendship.

Discernment & Hope

2008-02-25T10:34:00.003-06:00

Friday night I got to see Joel Osteen live at Kemper Arena, and it was great. Joel and his family preached about Hope and living through the eyes of faith. I had been praying about how to be an encouragement to someone dear to me and I really connected with the Victoria's talk about "abounding love." Saturday I was able to share this with my loved one. I learned that Friday night while I was praying for wisdom on how to encourage my loved one's troubled relationship, God was already at work patching it up. What I shared was a confirmation of that for both of us. I knew what I heard during this "Night of Hope" was annointed and I even got the Holy Goosebumps to go with it. Praise God!
What was a shock was Sunday morning at my own bible-based church listening to one of the teaching pastors criticize (although he did not name names) Joel's message of Hope and Victorious Life In Christ. Aware of the criticisms of Joel's ministry, I prayed for discernment. Who is right?
As always, if there is a conflict in teaching we must revert to the source and so I picked up my bible and prayed for discernment. Lord, who is right? Whose teaching do I follow, Joel's or my teaching pastor?
I began to read Philipians 1 and was amazed to find the very scripture that Victoria had preached on that gave me guidance to encourage my loved one:
"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight," and following that with a comma not a period was the answer to my prayer for discernment, "so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God."
Okay, so that quickly confirmed that I should trust the peace the Spirit was giving me about Friday night's teachings. Does this then mean I should dismiss my pastor's comments or even more drastically find a new bible based church? Probably not. My answer became clear as I continued to read Philipians 1:
"It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice."
This just reiterates the importance that each one of us remain in God's word. Why do you think the bible is the world's bestselling book of all times? So we can each have our own copy. We each need to be reading it so that we can become discerning and wise and be filled with the Hope that is God's word. And God's word walked among us when Christ was on earth and Christ walks among us now in God's word. We are not sponges meant to sit on pews and soak up preaching after preaching without considering it or evaluating it. We are to grow in the knowledge and depth of insight so that we will be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.
I believe that many of Joel's critics are missing the point-- Jesus is Good News! The slam on the doctrine of "positive Christianity" is an oxymoron. Christ is good news-- that is positive!! Christ came to bring Hope into the world, He embodies Hope, He came to set us free from our sin, to give us life in the Full. This is the message--- this is the good news.
But I am not upset with my pastor for criticizing Joel's message, as Paul says, "What does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice."

Winter Wisdom

2008-01-15T09:17:00.000-06:00

Winter does this to me, makes me feel lost. I become reclusive and dream of Spring. I don't know if it is the cold or lack of vitamin D or less contact with people or less activity at the ranch or the ache in my joints. I feel farther from God and start questioning everything. I think drastic thoughts about change-- moving, taking a new job, doing something different... it's almost like a desparate attempt to elude the winter desolation. I do this every year so this year I decided to remember the years past, what can I learn from them, how can I get through this winter by the Wisdom those years have shown me. The conclusion: Don't make any rational decision until Spring!! Spring changes everything.

So I turned back to God's word-- which by the way I had been avoiding along with everything else. Not because of intentional avoidance just neglect as I recoiled into my winter fetal position awaiting Spring's strike out to face the world again.

I love reading God's word so I don't understand what keeps me from reading it everyday. Today's gem was no disappointment, it reminded me that Christ did not come to the earth to make us all best friends but to draw a clear line between his followers and his enemies. Amazing how that is becoming so clear in the headlines as well as in our own homes. Jesus says, "God blesses those who do not turn away because of me."

God's word brings Wisdom to desparate hearts even in the desolation of winter, in the midst of this battle we wage toward peace and harmony for heaven's sake. In a perpetual seperation that can not be stopped, can not be reasoned, can not be persuaded, we cling to our Prince of Peace for Winter's Wisdom.

"Wisdom offers you long life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly." Proverbs 3:16-18. She is found in the Word of Our God, the God of Abraham and the fearsome God of Isaac.

It's Finally Here!!-- The Essence of Leading Prolific Small Group Meetings!

2007-10-31T10:11:00.000-05:00

After a long anticipated wait-- your leadership package has finally arrived. The Essence of Leading Prolific Small Group Meetings is finally complete. I want to thank all of you who have been patiently waiting for us to get the kinks out and deliver you a quality product. Some of you have been waiting since August when our package was scheduled to come back from the printer and on behalf of R4C Ranch Productions I hope you know how much we appreciate you hanging in there with us.

We hope you enjoy your new training and motivational package. We have packed it full of powerful tools and ideas to help you transform your weekly meetings into life-changing small groups. The Essence of Leading Prolific Small Group Meetings covers skills in relationship building, leadership development, facilitating empowering discussions, and group member management. Your feedback is vital to our continuing desire to create quality leader materials and training. Let us know what you think of your new Leadership Package by commenting to this blog or emailing us directly at r4cr.productions@yahoo.com

If you haven't ordered your Leadership Package yet, you can do so at www.theleadinglife.com

Dream Ranch Journey

2007-10-30T09:57:00.000-05:00

R4C Ranch Productions presents

--"The Dream Ranch Journey"--

This new blog at http://dreamranchjourney.blogspot.com is dedicated to reviewing and sifting through the billions of books out there to find and bring straight to you the "How Tos" and "Great Ideas" as well as the "Intellectual Stimulation" and "Spiritual Inspiration" to help keep you going on your Dream Ranch Journey.

Remember: The dream is the passion God put in your heart to lead you closer to him but the Journey is everything. . . no destination on earth is worth stopping at. . . so keep dreaming until God brings you home.

Welcome to the Country-- city girl!

2007-10-24T09:42:00.000-05:00

What a blessing to have my children spending a Sunday afternoon working in the fields with me! While my 10 year old helped me with the new fence, his main chore to ride the ATV back and forth to the house and get us refreshments and tools we forgot, my 20 year old daughter born and raised in the city, was learning how to pick up round bales with the tractor. After she got her first bale set, she got a ride from my son on the ATV to come talk to me.

"Is something wrong with the tractor?" I asked.
"This just isn't working," she explained. "We are going to have to go get the truck and the flat bed. I was thinking we could stack several bales on the flat bed and move them like that. You can't seriously think we are going to be able to move all of these bales one at a time that is going to take forever."
After I regained my composure from chuckling so hard I said, "Welcome to the Country, city girl." After we exchanged a few more ideas and truths about tractors, lifts, and money, I suggested all she needed was some suntan lotion and patience.
"This isn't the internet, girl, it's farming. Relax and enjoy the sunshine-- one bale at a time."

It's Finally Here~ The Essence of Leading Prolific Small Group Meetings

2007-10-22T08:27:00.001-05:00

If you haven't ordered your Leadership Package yet, you can do so at www.theleadinglife.com

R4C Ranch Trail Ride Beginnings

2007-09-17T12:49:00.000-05:00

Our first small group trail ride set out Friday, 9/14/2007. They opted out of the traveling through the herd and the woods but instead took the trails out to the hay field where they could let the horses go on a loose rein and enjoy some high speed adventures around the hay bales. We followed up with a second ride on Sunday and it was absolutely beautiful. We dodged the thunder and rain-- remaining mostly dry. The weather was absolutely wonderful. Not as chilly as the Friday night lifegroup on the deck. I just think we are not used to the sudden drop in temperatures of over a 40 degree spread from 105 degrees down to the low 60's.

The R4C Ranch Trail Ride Prayer:

Lord,
As we saddle up our horses and prepare to ride
We ask that you would be our guide
Not just on this trail but all trails of life
Lead us out of darkness and into your light

We thankyou for our equine friends
and Your majesty revealed through them
Let them carry us safely as we ride today
Reveal more of you, Lord, along the way

Prepare us for you, Lord, renew our minds
As we venture out, new treasures to find
Following our leader, Faithful and True
Every where we go, Lord, we'll follow you

In Jesus name, Amen.

Train Yourself up to be Godly

2007-06-05T09:32:00.000-05:00

"When we are ambushed, survival kicks in and we revert to our training," Major O. explained, "that is why discipline and training is so important." Not all attacks are military and not all are physical. We are constantly fighting off spiritual attacks that strike at our greatest areas of weakness physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. If you have strengthened your faith and disciplined your mind in God's word, then you have a firm foundation to fall back on. "When we are ambused, survival kicks in and we revert to our training."

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perserverance; and to perserverance godliness (God-Likeness); and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing meausre they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." (2 Peter 1:5).
And this discipline will prepare you for when you are ambushed and help you prevail when you must stand on your training.

"So then brothers stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed to you..." 2 Thessalonians 2:15

"Have nothing to do with godless myths, but train yourself up to be godly. For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." 1Tim 4:8

Hope and Faith

2007-03-27T09:21:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I think, it would be a cruel trick for the Creator to have opened our eyes to life and death and then let us live only to die into an abyss of nothingness. That is why I put my Hope* into the God of Creation that has made so much of humans that he came to us in Spirit and in Flesh to teach us about the plans he has made for our eternity after our dance on earth.

*Hope--> Archaic. Trust and Confidence

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

So what is that we do here?-- what is the point, you might ask. I love what Cat Stevens asks in his song, O Very Young. "Oh Very Young, What will you leave us this time?" It's not about what you had when you were here and you can't take it with you when you go, but what will you leave behind: An invention, an unfulfilled promise, a bit of wisdom in the heart of young person? No it's not about your loving will-- you can leave money and they will spend it, property and they will sell it, things and they will rust and depreciate-- all these things seem valuable to us but true value can not be left in a will. True value sews Hope and Faith into the hearts of those you leave behind.

Teenage Wisdom

2007-01-31T10:31:00.000-06:00

I am always perplexed by the insights I gain from my teenage children. I was thinking about how hyper-sensitive they are to what other people think about them. If a teenager, and I am not naming names, doesn't have the proper attire that is a cause to skip school. You can not go to class if your new. You can't go to class if you've worn your only clean shirt already once this year unless its your absolute favorite and then you can wear that up to three times a week but not four or five. You can't go to class unless you drive a cool car or truck and if you have to have a ride from your parent-- you can only go if you get to drive up to the school or are dropped off at a friends so you can ride the rest of the way with them.

As I contemplated how to offer wisdom to my teenager about learning not to be so hyper-sensitive about what others thought something that took me two decades to get over, I realized the hypersensitivity did not seem to carry over onto what I thought about him. Okay, so maybe if you could take a little bit of the "I don't care what you think, mom" and apply that to your peers maybe you could reach a healthy balance.

Teenagers also have a strange sense of math. You can tell them how great they are for five days in a row with little response but if one day after school you ask them to pick up their mess they equate, "You never have anything good to say. All you do is yell at me when I mess up."

You would have thought I was never a teenager. But I was and that is why I probably act like I do now. Somehow I think every parent wants to protect their adolescents from going through what they did, if only they just did what we did right without doing what we did wrong--- then maybe they would be better adults than we are or at least better quicker. My daughter once yelled at me, "You just want me to be like you were as a teenager--- well I am not you, mom." The dilemna-- do I tell her? The last thing I wanted was for her to be like I was as a teenager but unfortunately I saw so much of me in her it was scarey. Well, I think she might turn out okay afterall!!

God's Glory

2007-01-12T10:44:00.000-06:00

I just learned that the Hebrew word for "Glory" has a more fine-tuned translation than what we commonly consider splendor or greatness. The word is kavodh and means inclusively weight (or more modernly great treasure), abundance, and wealth.

"Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory (the great treasure, abundance, and wealth) of God the Father."

Interesting isn't it. Jesus brought Glory to God the Father. In otherwords, he was a great treasure to him. Jesus was God's wealth and abundance. That is why we want to be like Jesus to be a great treasure and of great wealth to God. "So whatever you do , do it all for the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31)." Do it all to be God's abundance and wealth. In all that you do be a great treasure to God.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21)." Following the logic here, if you are God's treasure--- will not God's own heart be with you also?

Meeting With God

2007-01-10T09:30:00.000-06:00

It's a new year and I just learned that God wants to meet with me! From the very beginning of mankind, God walked with us and talked with us and even looked for us when we were hiding because of sin. He asked us to design special places to meet with us and cleansed us so that He could dwell among us.
"... Make a sanctuary for me and I will dwell among you. Make this tabernacle and all its furnishings exactly like the pattern I will show you. " Exodus 25:8-9

I wonder: what is the pattern that God is showing us for his sanctuary today. Where does God want to meet you? What does the pattern of place, time, and furnishings look like? Will you run to this place knowing God is going to meet with you there?

Think about how you react if you hear your phone ringing-- not even knowing who it is, do you leap over small furniture and stumble over toys trying to catch the caller before they hang up? If there is a knock at the door, do you find the energy to get up out of bed, put on your robe, to see who is there? God is waiting for you at your special meeting place will you not find the energy to get up and to leap over small furniture to meet with him before he leaves. Would you miss a minute of his visit with you?

New Every Morning

2006-12-26T12:16:00.000-06:00

Lord, I will wait for you.
You, Lord, are my portion.
Great is your faithfulness.
Your compassion is new every morning.
Your compassion never fails.
I will not be consumed.
Great is your love.

Good Fruit

2006-12-15T13:43:00.000-06:00

"You can not change the fruit itself but you can change the root from whence the tree nourishes the fruit it produces." When I heard this a light came on in this wee little brain of mine. No wonder it seems impossible to change our bad habits or bad attitudes or bad tempers. We try to practice better habits, have better attitudes, and present more pleasant temperaments by polishing the appearance of the fruit. But bad fruit is bad fruit no matter how shiney you try to make it.
The only way to make bad fruit better is to nourish the root system that produces it. Build stronger roots that eliminates the need for improving bad fruit because wouldn't you know it the fruit it produces is good. The roots of true joy and happiness are naturally displayed in the fruit we produce. The good fruit is good habits, good attitudes, and pleasant temperments.
In Joel Osteen's book, Your Best Life Now, he encourages us to improve the root system by looking at the roots that produced the bad fruit. What is your purpose for not stopping a bad habit? What is the underlying reason you exhibit a bad temper or bad attitude? Once you know, don't hang on to that thing-- forgive a hurt, stop seeking pity, eliminate a fear--- whatever the reason deal with it and move on. Your life will begin producing good fruit as your root system becomes healthier and stops wasting nourishment on the bitterness of the past.

Hosea 14

2006-12-08T14:39:00.000-06:00

Bring your confessions, and return to the Lord... and the Lord will say, "I will heal you of your faithlessness; my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever."

He promises to be like:
a refreshing dew from heaven

That falling on us will make us:
blossom like the lilly
send deep roots into the soil
branch out like olive trees
with fragrance as the cedars
We will live:
under God's shade
and
flourish like grain
blossom like grapevines
with fragrance of the wines

God answers your prayers and cares for you.
God is a tree that is always green
All fruit comes from him.

The wise listen with discrenment
and
righteous people walk in the true and right paths of the Lord.

The Lord says,
"I am the one who answers your prayers and cares for you."

To Do Life Today List!

2006-12-06T11:34:00.000-06:00

To Do Life List:
____ Expect God's favor today... no matter your age, your health, or your circumstances.
____ Visualize your big dream and imagine living it at least twice today.
____ Write down the Top 6 things you want to accomplish today and do them.
____ Take one step toward your big dream today.
____ Read a scripture and think about it as you interact with the world today.
____ Be ready to be used by God today--- you're on-call 24/7.
____ Accumlate 30 minutes of heart-pumping activity today.
____ Think about the things you put in your fuel tank today (your body).
____ Think about the impact of the things that came out of your mouth today.
____ Work a puzzle daily to keep your mind alert (use it or lose it).
____ Read a chapter from a book today and journal what it meant to you.
____ Write down 10 Great things that happened to you today.
____ Thank God for today.

The Hard Decisions

2006-11-28T08:03:00.000-06:00

Last evening my 17 year-old son and I watched a program on Leadership delivered by speaker, Chris Widener. He recommended that leaders make hard decisions quickly so that if you make the wrong decision you have more time to fix it and if you make the right decision you have more time to implement it. As my son and I discussed that, we realized a key contribution to our most heated conflicts-- he likes to make quick decisions which I always felt were impulsive and I like to analyze the details and make the right decision the first time which he felt was my procrastinating so I could hold him back.
During the conversation I did realize that I have a fear of making the wrong decision. I have an underlying need to be RIGHT! And so I put off a decision until it is certain to be the right one. The freedom to make the wrong decision with time to correct it may be just what I need.
The best part was the look on my son's face when he learned that he had a quality of great leadership. He loved to 'make hard decisions quickly.' We both recognized that we had a different way to approach a decision and that somewhere in middle we could come together. He could give me a little more time to gather the facts and I could make a decision a little sooner even if it was wrong.

Heart's Desires

2006-11-24T20:58:00.000-06:00

I read a 2004 Cover Story from Time Magazine today about the discovery of the "faith gene." According to the author there is a gene sequence in our DNA that predisposes us to seek God. In Sacred Romance author John Eldredge posits that God placed in our hearts passions and desires that are designed to lead us back to him. "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4, NLT)."

We are hard-wired to seek after God and he gave us what we need, our heart's desires to find him. "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD (Jeremiah 29:13-14, NLT). "

Of course we have the gift of free will and can use our hard-wire desires to pursue selfish delight and not find God. What a shame to miss out on having the desires of your heart and God too!

In Wild at Heart, Eldredge proposes that a man's heart's desires can be summed up into three categories: A battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a Beauty to rescue. Similarly he lists three essential desires in the feminine heart: to be fought for, to be swept up into an adventure, and to unveil her Beauty. What are your heart's desires? Do you agree with Eldredge? What desires has God put in your heart to help you find him? Are you pursuing them, for his delight or your own, or are you burying them?

The Car from Hell? or Heaven?

2006-11-22T08:12:00.000-06:00

I really thought God had let me down after the same car from my God's Peace post exploded just three days after he got it and my son had to replace the entire engine not to mention hundreds of dollars of other things wrong with it. He had that replaced and then the instrument cluster quit working. A few days after getting it back from the mechanic he was stranded on the side of the road when his tire came off the rim. Is this the car from hell or what!!
I have been having conversations with God about this whole car ordeal. Did I not ask for a sign? Was that not you God that gave me a sign? The sign I testified about as your faithful witness while everyone watched and smirked and jeered, "What a peice of junk!" I prayed about this car purchase because I wanted your blessing-- what happened to your promise-- 'ask and you shall receive.' I did ask and this is what I get? I just felt stupid and publicly humiliated not to mention let down by God.
Last night my son came into my room and cheerfully told me he had fixed the tire. He was very proud of himself and happy that it wasn't going to cost him any more money to get it fixed. But he informed me that there was something wrong and the car was now making a knocking sound. Sigh! Now what? And the conversations and feelings of God letting me down again filled my head. When I walked by the garage, I heard my son and my nephew laughing. I peeked in and my son was bent over with his head in the engine compartment of his new but very old car. He was covered with dirt and grease from head to toe, wrench in hand, tinkering.
"Hey, mom," he looked up, "I think we figured it out." I smiled and left.
Could it be I just didn't get it? Was this God's plan all along? Since the car's engine exploded, my son has been at home working for me on the ranch almost every night to make up for the extra money to fix the car's engine. He has been in the garage tinkering with the engine, painting rusted parts, and affixing parts that are falling off. He's decided he really likes working on cars and is thinking about becoming a mechanic. His grades have been improving in school so he can participate in the technical college program as a senior in high school. Maybe the extra investment I had to make in the car is just what God ordered to keep him at home, safe, and tinkering in the garage.
"After I get you paid back, I am going repaint this car and redo the interior. It's gonna be a classic."
"Sure," I replied, "The car from heaven."
He smiled. "Exactly."

Mastery over the Previous Age

2006-11-14T14:00:00.000-06:00

"The fact distinguishing our day from previous times is obviously our mastery over the scientific means of life. ... [new discovery] harnessed for our service until we possess, as no other previous age, [a greater means of living]. ... But when we turn our thought from the means by which we live to the ends for which we live, are we so sure that we are on a correspondingly higher level than our [fore] fathers?"
---excerpted from The Hope of the World by Harry Emerson Fosdick (1933).

FULL FAITH

2006-10-11T08:57:00.000-05:00

Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you can not see (Hebrews 11)

Have FAITH.

Goodness is virture, excellence, generousity, value.

Add GOODNESS to your FAITH.

Knowledge is familiarity, a knowing, acquintance with facts, awareness, and the path of understanding.

Add KNOWLEDGE to your GOODNESS.

Self-control is like a city whose walls are fortified, to regulate, direct, or influence.

Add SELF-CONTROL to your KNOWLEDGE.

Perseverance is adherence to a course of action, belief, or purpose through suffering and trials.

Add PERSEVERANCE to your SELF-CONTROL.

Godliness is a great reverance for God, valuing all things from the creator, attained by knowledge and truth.

Add GODLINESS to your PERSEVERANCE.

Brotherly Kindness is exercising a tender, considerate, helping nature toward each other.

Add BROTHERLY KINDNESS to your GODLINESS.

Love is patient, kind, without envy or boasting, not proud, keeps no record of wrongs, rejoices in truth, protects, trusts, always hopes, always perseveres, never fails.

Add LOVE to your BROTHERLY KINDNESS.

Have FAITH full of Goodness, Knowledge, Self-control, Perseverance, Godliness, Brotherly Kindness, and Love.

Connor's Financial Planning

2006-10-06T08:59:00.000-05:00

Connor said, "Mom, I realize that you are not going to increase the amount of my commissions. I understand that. Really, I am okay with that but can you at least increase the frequency of them?"

God's Peace

2006-09-22T10:56:00.000-05:00

God promised he would be the Father to the Fatherless. I really caught on to that promise when my husband died and left my children fatherless. Yesterday, God really showed me his faithfulness. My son had worked all summer at the local grocery store and most of his hard-earned money had went straight into the gas tank of his dad's old pickup. I had agreed to help him buy a used car that would save him money on gas and allow him to put more of his money towards his insurance and hopefully have some spending money leftover as he paid me back for the car. He researched several cars and had taken my advice to not buy a couple of them. Then he found "The Perfect car."
I was not so sure. It was a little too sports car for me, not necessarily the gas saver I was hoping for, and I was not so sure it would handle safely in the snow. My biggest concern was that it was a sporty car and that he would drive it too fast. I started doing my research online and kept running into younger men who had bought these cars with their dads. I thought, yeah, this is the kind of car that would be cool for him to buy with his dad. I just didn't feel comfortable saying yes to this car... I mean what if something happens to him! What if he drives it too fast and gets hurt? I just didn't have a peace about it. I decided to tell him to find something else.
I went home last night and told him I decided it wasn't the right car. He tried to convince me it was. He said he did research and the mid-engine rear wheel drive he'd found handled well in the snow and it got 36 MPG in the city. I wasn't convinved my research showed that it only got 24MPG in the city and didn't handle as well in the snow. He said that I must have been looking at the GT's which were V6's. We had conflicting information and reviews. We kicked it around and I finally said, "Fine, you offer them $1000 cash and tell them we'll pick it up tonight." He tried to tell me how it was worth the $1895 they were asking and that I hadn't considered the stereo system and that other cars like it were on autotrader for a lot more.
I explained that I never agreed to buy him a stereo system and that just because they were asking for more in these ads didn't mean they were going to get it. Reluctantly he agreed to call and make an offer of $1100. They said they could go to $1750 or $1200 without the stereo.
A used stereo system for $550. Oh my son said, it is worth more than that you've never research stereos. I reemphasised 'not buying you a stereo.' I reconfirmed my position that the car was only worth $1009 according to TMV. He correctly stated that was an average and this car is worth so much more than that plus its got a great stereo. I finally agreed that I would allow him to buy it for the amount I had originally offered to help him out with which was $1500. And I prayed that I was not making a mistake.
"Lord, you promised to be the father to the fatherless. I don't know how to make this decision. Am I being too protective? Or am I making a big mistake. I am asking you to show me the right way. Do not let them accept this offer of $1500 if it is not a good idea, if it is not something you as his father would endorse. If you agree he should have this car then please protect him and help him to avoid the temptations to drive wrecklessly. Lord, I am looking for your answer by the outcome of this deal."
My son called and said, "If we bring $1500 cash tonight will you take the offer." No but they would accept, "$1600 if we came down tonight only." I said no.
Oh boy did we have a big fight after that. My son couldn't believe I would blow the whole deal for just $100. I said, "They will call back and if they don't it wasn't meant to be. We agreed $1500 and I really don't have the other hundred."
"Someone else is going to buy this car."
"I am telling you this is the game. You made a fair offer. It's $500 more than the TMV, that is plenty of money for that stereo. It's a fair offer. The $100 will go into the pocket of the one who stands their ground the longest. If it is sold out from under you, there is a reason and you don't want it anyway."
He was so angry with me. I told him to call him back and ask the salesman to take his name and number and call him back if they changed their mind. Soon I was on the phone with the salesman trying to convince me to buy the car for $1600. I said, "Listen, I did some research on line the TMV for that car is $1009. That means we've offered you $500 already for the stereo which is also used."
"But this car is a classic."
"You mean it has $134,000 miles on it."
"The stereo is worth $900."
"Listen, we have researched this car and feel that the $1500 is a fair price."
"We have more in the car than that. We paid $1400 for it."
"We are offering $1500 cash tonight. If you can't take that for it, I understand. Call us if you change your mind. Good night."
We hung up. My son couldn't believe I did that. I didn't mention to him that I was pretty set on the fact that if God said yes, they would come down to $1500 and that I wasn't going a penny over that and buy this car without God's blessing.
He went on and on about the extra $100. He couldn't believe I was going to let someone else get this great deal for $100. He told me how many ways he could come up with the extra money and I told him that is how you were going to come up with the $1500. I said, If you have $1600 march right on down there and get the car.
I took the opportunity to teach him a few things about buying cars. Number one, you can't be so set on getting one that you convince yourself this is the only car in the world for you. Number two, it's a game. Whose pocket should the $100 go into? Decide what you want to give for the car and be willing to walk away and find a better deal if they can't sell it to you for that. I feel $1500 is more than fair and I am not going to let them play me for another $100. And if they can't sell it for that-- that's fine too. There is another deal out there.
I don't think I had convinved my son until the phone rang about thirty minutes later and they said if we had $1500 in cash, tonight, we had a deal. I prayed on the way to the bank -- this is really from you right Lord? The sign at the drive up window said checks for over $1500 had to be done in person in the Lobby. Luckily we only needed $1500 because the lobby was closed.
He got his car--- I got God's peace~

I'm the Leader!

2006-09-13T08:11:00.000-05:00

I am a great leader. The only thing holding me back is that no one wants to follow.

Puppy Love

2006-09-04T09:39:00.000-05:00

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:13-14

Yesterday I went in to wake my 9 year old by teasing, "Okay-- rise and call me blessed." You know from Proverbs 31 her children rise and call her blessed. Like that is ever gonna happen in my house. Guess what, he grinned and said, "You are blessed mom." That made my day! These moments of unexpected bliss are why I went through the hassle of birthing him, loving him, worrying about him, disciplining him, teaching him, and footing the bill for him.

God is love and he created us to share that love. Maybe it is the same way in which we decide to get a puppy, because we want some living being to express love to. What better subject than a puppy who expects nothing from you. I guess that is why we have babies, too. Because we love to express our love and we imagine these tiny infants cuddling in our arms smiling up at us. Of course, it doesn't take long for reality to hit. Just like with the puppy who starts chewing up everything you own, kids soon learn to talk and "I love you" isn't always at the top of their vocabulary list. By two they don't seem to idolize you as much as they once did. Once they start school, you no longer know everything. When they become teenagers, you no longer know anything. Expressing our love for them becomes extremely challenging.

Children aren't going to praise us just because we went through birthing pains to have them and all sorts of pains to raise them. However, It doesn't change the fact that we love them. We did not choose to have them so they could worship us. We wanted to love them. We loved them first ... we love them always... through it all. And if things work out right, they can carry that love with them throughout their lives when they feel like no one else in the world cares. Unselfish love endures forever in the hearts of those who recieve it.

Loving first, without expectation of love in return is what unconditional love is all about. It is why your puppy is so happy because he expects nothing. He bounces up to you for a pat or a scratch behind the ears and if he doesn't get one he doesn't mope off. Instead he bounces off somewhere else and tries again later. But if he does get a pat or a scatch he is filled with tail-wagging excitement. Everything he receives is a blessing over and above what he expected. In this same way we should reach out and love others with the heart of a puppy's love; no expectations. Giving love should be the goal that brings us joy and the return of that unexpected love, a blessing over and above our expectations.

"Remembering the words of the Lord Jesus himself said, "It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

Hope for the Control Freak

2006-08-16T07:46:00.000-05:00

I have been called a control freak a few times. Okay, maybe I don't work that well with others and maybe my eye for details is a few sizes larger than the average person's but control freak? Whatever. However, in the remote case I lean toward being a control freak I heard on the radio this morning that the Sunflower Dental Group will let me be in control. Isn't that great! They even have a back up plan. They said, "We'll let you be in control and if that doesn't work there is always laughing gas."

~"Laughing gas," hope for the control freak~

Pampered Pets

2006-08-15T09:14:00.000-05:00

All I can say is city pets must be really whimpy. I just read a Reader's Digest article on keeping your pets bug-free. They suggest if your dog gets a tick to remove it and take the dog to the veternarian to analyze the bite area. I am pretty sure my vet and my dog would not be on speaking terms by the end of the summer. And frankly, I wouldn't be talking to my vet either because I would be in the soup line ... broke from those daily trips to the vet. Country dogs however do get ticks. So if we see 'em we'll yank 'em out but if not the ticks tend to fill up and fall off on their own. If they fall on the ground, we stomp 'em and watch the explosion. Do not stomp them if they land on the deck or the patios because blood stains! We are not heartless though, if the dog does get a lump or infection from a tick bite we clean the infected area with an anti-bacterial wash. We also load the dogs up with tick spot prevention goop to cut down on their chances of getting a tick in the first place.

A Heart for God

2006-08-03T08:58:00.000-05:00

Many of us spend a lot of time wondering what God's purpose is for our lives. We take inventories and interest surveys to find our God given talents and gifts. We pray for answers about what job, what ministry, and what schools God has planned for us and our families. At times it feels like we are lost because the answers seem unclear... do you think God may have just wanted you to choose? But we know the feeling of being in God's sweet spot... that place where we know we are walking on the good path God has laid out for us. We continue to search for that spot and prayerfully ask God to continue to nudge us back on it. So what does God want from us? I beleive all he wants is our heart.
There are over 774 references to heart in scriptures, some versions boast 996 references. There are hearts being hardened, filled with pain, drawn to others, rejoicing, and sinking. There are evil hearts and glad hearts. God speaks and prays in his heart. You can find out a lot about God's heart and the heart of man in the scriptures. I search his word to find out exactly what God wants from us. It became very clear God does not want us to go through the motions of being righteous, he wants us to give him our hearts fully.
Here is a little heart to do list straight from God's word:

Fix these words on your heart (Deut 11:18)
Love him with all your heart (Deut 30:6)
Yield your heart to the Lord (Josh 21:3)
Return to the Lord with all your heart (1 Sam 7:3)
Your hearts must be fully committed to the Lord (1 Sam 8:61)
Pour out your hearts to him for God is our refuge (Psalm 62:8)
Open wide your hearts (2 Cor 6:13)
Let Christ dwell in your hearts through faith (Eph 3:17)
Let the peace of God guard your heart in Christ (Phil 4:7)
Set your hearts on things above (Col 3:1)
Let the Peace of Christ rule in your heart (Col 3:15)
Purify your hearts (James 4:8)
Set apart Christ as Lord in your heart (1 Peter 3:5)
Apply your heart to understanding (Proverbs 2)
Keep his commands in your heart (Proverbs 3)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart (Proverbs 3)

This is just a sample of God's heart to do list. If you find more please share them in the comment section. These are God's will and purpose for your lives! Rejoice in your heart for the Lord will make your paths straight when you search for his discretion and understanding like a hidden treasure.

Inside Looking Out

2006-07-24T08:16:00.000-05:00

I have been stuck in this head of mine looking out for as long as I can ever remember. Sometimes I just want to get out of my head and get a bigger picture of the world. I have to wonder if I were blind and deaf would I still feel as if the center of my existence was inside my head or would I have a more over-all body experience. I forget sometimes that I am getting older on the outside which changes the way others look at me but not necessarily the way I look out at others. The nucleus of my life view seems the same as when I was even nine years old or younger. I have more experiences in my head now but I still peer out from behind this same set of eyes. From that perspective nothing has changed, I'm still in my head peering out at the world. Age has only changed the way I process what I experience, making some things simpler to understand and others more complex. Yet, it's still me, the same girl that was peering out decades ago; still here on the inside looking out.

The Owner of All

2006-07-12T08:51:00.000-05:00

We are God's possessions and He wants us to live like it. If everything we own is God's, even ourselves, then why do we find it difficult to share what we have been given. God wants us to lay down everything, even our life, to follow him. That at first glance seems like a tall order. Do we all sell our houses and live as missionaries? Do we give away all of our possessions and have nothing to leave an inheritance to our children? If not, then what.

I have been contemplating this for a few weeks now. How do I truly become a disciple of Christ when Jesus said, "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters-- yes even his own life-- he can not be my disciple." Luke 14:26. He wants everything! And yet, I have two children to raise and the bible also says if one doesn't work one doesn't eat. At first this was very conflicting for me, who will provide shelter and clothing for the nomadic missionaries if no one is allowed to own a home or have possessions that would benefit them. Is it right to expect others to work to take care of my children and provide us shelter.

If we do have possessions, part of what God wants is us to be generous with what we are given. "If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?" 1 john 3:17. Most of us get that but we live it out in a varying degrees. Even if you think you are doing well in that area let me tell you that that is not enough. Christ said to give up everything! Be like Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:14, "I will gladly spend everything I have for you and expend myself as well." If you truly are convicted of that then you will start to give away everything and even then Christ says that will not be enough. So should you just give up and go back to life as usual. Of course, not. So how do we get this right?

God doesn't forbid us to have material or money. Actually he wants us to be great handlers of money but what he has been trying to tell us is that rich owners have a difficult time getting into heaven. They are tempted more with greed and hording, they have more to be selfish with, they have more to mis-manage, they have more to give up when God says sell your possessions and follow me. They hang on to material things and gain their self-worth by their possessions. They forget who they are and begin to conform to the world of money and possessions which causes them to lose God's peace and freedom.

God wants us to be rich and live abundant lives just not one that involves putting our worth in material possessions and money. "Watch out! Be on guard against all kinds of greeds; a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." Luke 12:15 It is our heart about material possessions that God wants. He wants us to let go of all of our ownership. Let go of ownership of our money, our material possessions, our father and mother, our children, our brothers and sisters. We don't own any of it. It's God's. We are God's possession and so is our money and material possessions, our family. All belongs to God and what God really wants is us to live like that is true in our hearts. To really Get IT and Do It! To be great stewards of all he has put in our care-- managers of his wealth and the homes he has put us over. With it comes God's peace, for you can loose nothing because you have never owned anything but if you manage what you have well, the Lord promises to give you more to manage.

It's not about getting more but doing what God wants with what you have. It's about being a great care-taker of the possessions and money God has entrusted you with. What are you doing with God's stuff? How are you putting God's money to work for him? Are you investing your time and money and possessions in things the owner would be happy about or are you mismanaging His resources? If you were the owner, would you fire yourself or give yourself a raise? Are you still hanging on to material things and money as if you own it? Can you grasp the reality--- you own nothing and never will!! You own nothing but are fully provided for by the Owner Of All who loves you!

The Cost

2006-06-28T09:45:00.000-05:00

In Luke 14 Jesus said don't even begin to be my disciple until you are willing to give up everything. If you are not willing to give up everything, you run the risk of only building a foundation that you will never build a building on and everyone will laugh at you. "They will say, 'There is the person who started that building and couldn't finish it.'" Luke 14:30

"But don't begin until you count the cost." Luke 14: 28

If a king determines he can not defeat the enemy with his count, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. Are you sending a delegation or giving up everything? The enemy is near.

Do you have other things to attend to? Did you start out as salt but lost your flavor? Do you love your father and mother, your spouse and children, and yes, even your own life more by comparison?

"Come, the banquet is ready."

Together as a People

2006-06-08T07:44:00.000-05:00

We have often debated over the need to assemble with believers. I mean afterall God is everywhere and if you are a believer then you can worship God anywhere so why worry about whether you go to church on Sunday morning or fellowship with other believers during the week. Often we defend church attendance by Paul's word in the new testament to come together to encourage each other and of course to follow the commandment to observe the Sabbath and make it Holy. Holy means to set something apart and Sabbath means to cease from work or labor.

Today in my readinmg of the word in Deuteronomy 33 a few passages stood out that seem to add weight to the blessing and priviledge to assemble with other believers. I'll just share them here as they are written and you can ponder them.

"The Lord became king in Israel-- when the leaders of the people assembled, when the tribes of Israel gathered as one." Deut 33:5

"Bring them together as a people. Give them strength to defend their cause; help them against their enemies." Deut 33:7

"Indeed he loves his people; all his holy ones are in his hands. They follow in his steps and accept his teachings." Deut 33: 3

What Prayer is Worth . . .

2006-05-23T13:59:00.000-05:00

In accordance with the Holy Scriptures, the prayers of the righteous;

are answered.
give courage.
give mercy.
invoke God's presence.
get God's attention.
are pleas which produce the knowledge of afflictions in our own hearts.
cause heaven to hear our hearts.
cause heaven to uphold our causes.
are heard by God, who hears them and responds.
open God's eyes and attentiveness.
reach heaven.
move God.
are answered petitions.
are accepted by God.
listened to by the Lord.
give back the love which the God of Life gives to us by day and turns into songs in us at night.
cause God to hear our voices.
cause God to turn an ear to our cries.
come before God.
are set before God like incense.
go against evil.
please God.
add years to our life.
in faith, cause receipt of whatever we ask for.
are the only way to cause some demons to come out.
for the poor and destitute are considered by the heavens to be memorial offerings to God.
cause favor to be granted.
are not for Show.
open the way to help others.
perfect the saints.
cause God to remember us.
abound in love and increase our knowledge and insight.
relieve anxiety.
are consecrated.
make sick people well.
are powerful and effective.
cause the Lord's ears to be attentive and His eyes to be open.
are saved in Golden Bowls on heavenly altars.
Are hand delivered to God by angels.

Better is ONE Day!

2006-05-22T14:34:00.000-05:00

A coyote crossed my path this morning. Not sure what that means but things went down hill from there. Sure is Monday!
A smiley face appeared on my system computer this morning in the who is in control box. I know what that means; I don't have control of the system and neither does anyone on the link.
A call from the elementary school came in while I was working to solve the smiley face problem, "Your son is balled up on the floor and won't respond to anyone because he can not be allowed to take a metal bat to the cookout." I can't believe I sent my son to school with a weapon, either.
A message appeared while I tried to email the system log files to the technical support engineer, "You're locked out."
Another message appeared when I tried another computer, "Error... access denied." I concluded it would probably be best not to touch anything that has its own brain (CPU) today.
A phone call came in but every phone I picked up went dead. Whose idea was it to give phones a brain anyway?

After this I finally admitted to myself, "You're really not having a very good day."

A call came in from my boss who said things have gotten worse but I just said, if you need me it would probably be best to call me tomorrow.

Yesterday was so drastically different:
My teenager went kicking and screaming to church telling me it wasn't right to force him to go to church. He was priviledged to sit through the preacher's sermon on the importance of observing the Sabbath. God's perfect timing!
My youngest son got an excellent report from his Sunday school teacher, he was in love in Jesus. He said, "I sang to God and you know what, you were right, it made me feel so good."
My afternoon was awesome, productive, and God was so near.
My son got some one on one time with his baseball coach in the batting cages and afterwards told him know how much he appreciated a great coach. A great parenting day afterall.

Today, fighting the smiley face demon, I understand these worship lyrics more intimately, "Better is One Day in your House, Better is One Day in your Courts, Better is One Day in your house than a thousand elsewhere."

Better is ONE DAY!

Arrival

2006-05-17T08:15:00.000-05:00

We tend to live our lives as if we expect to arrive somewhere. You might think you will have arrived when you have more money, get a better job, find love, or build that dream home. Most of us discover that when we do make more money we just want even more. A better job can add stress or increase our desire for a better job. A new love is soon discovered to have human faults just like all the others and that dream home, well, it comes with its share of pitfalls to. Soon after we have reached what we set out to achieve we discover we haven't arrived at all and must set out for a new destination. If we can't achieve what we thought we would, we become depressed or give up on achieving anything at all.
Where is the final arrival? What is it then that we are truly searching for? If not in this world then what are we doing here?
To truly be satisfied in our daily lives we must discover that life is a journey not a destination. Arrival doesn't happen until the end when we meet our Creator face to face for the first time. But that doesn't mean we should disregard the thrill of the journey. I have noticed that this is precisely what many young people try to do. They want the destination instead of the journey-- more money, a better job, and true love, NOW. Right out of high school, at 18, they can't understand why they can't just get a career. Why shouldn't they be hired for the good paying jobs? Somehow they want to skip the gaining of experience and blink onto the destination.
As I look back on my life, those moments of striving toward a new arrival place were the most thrilling and enjoyable times in my life. Although I remember feeling frustrated, often inadequate, and even hopeless. But these times gave me the experience to really appreciate the achievements, to be prepared for pitfalls that came with them, and to share the journey with others.
I believe that is what the journey in this life is all about--- it is the time between arrivals that will help us appreciate the new life we will have with the creator. Joy in life is understanding and finding peace with the perpetual cycle of the journey knowing the true arrival is yet to come.

My Answer

2006-05-10T09:08:00.000-05:00

Do I know anything you don't know? Do I feel anything you don't feel? Are any of my thoughts unknown to you?
Do I see anything you do not see? Do I hear anything you do not hear? Are any of my days unknown to you?
Do you feel my heartbreak? Do you know my joy? Are any of my tears not counted by you?
Is there a prayer I've prayed you haven't heard? Have you missed even a word that crossed my lips? Is there a moment of my life you have not witnessed?
You've come to me with open arms and yet I can not touch you. I always know that you are there although I can not see you. And yet, I feel an emptiness that can not be filled, an unquenchable thirst.
What is this longing that this world can not fulfill? This great divide that comes between me and heaven and all that is under heaven. You are my every breath and my life is in your hands.

The Donut

2006-04-26T08:40:00.000-05:00

Isn't it exciting that God wants to be in the little stuff too? After kind of a rough start getting out of the shoot this morning, my 8 yo son and I were at the quick store picking out breakfast items. He was hoping to get a creme filled long john and asked the clerk which ones were filled. She said the ones that have a frosting dot on them were filled. But none of the long john's had dots. She came by and peeked and said, "I'm sorry we are out of the creme filled."
My son examined the donut bin and then announced that he was just going to take a chance and pick one and hope that it had creme in it. I put my arm on his shoulder and whispered, "God please let this be a creme filled day!" My son smiled, "Amen." As we walked out of the store, he said he wasn't going to worry about whether the donut had creme or not he was just going to enjoy it however it came.
A few minutes after we pulled out he shouted, "God does care about my donut!" And he held up the donut to show me the yellow creme dripping out of his donut.
"Thankyou God" I replied, "Thankyou for being here in the little things."
It means so much to know that God cares about the little things in our lives, the things that seem insignificant to bystanders but like creme in a donut can make our days a little brighter.
My son replied, "Well at least God can get creme into a donut even if they can't."
"With God all things are possible."

Spring Drizzle

2006-03-27T11:23:00.000-06:00

It won't rain and it won't shine... it just drizzles. Ever felt that way in your daily living? Sometimes I feel like God is putting a passion or drive in my life and I get motivated to put the plan into motion but it doesn't pan out. He drives me toward it and then holds me back. What is with that? Everything seems to be going well in my life and I can't complain but nothing is going super, it's kind of drizzling with moments of partly sunny.
This weekend I went down to the army base to visit my son before he shipped out. We played the old hurry up and wait game. I had to be there by a certain time so we could wait together to hurry up and get to the next place on time so we could wait together again. We got to places on time to wait for practices and ceremonies to start, we hurried to appointments and waited for office personnel, and then we sat on base waiting hours for the next scheduled event. We hurried up to be at the bus station so we could check in on time to wait an hour for the bus. We had to be at the shuttle station on time to wait 20 minutes for the shuttle. Is life just the wait between hurry ups?
When I sense God calling I get excited about the plan, I hurry up and get started only lately it seems to be told to wait. It bears a striking resemblance to drizzle. Everything is wet but nothing is dramatically drinched like in a thunderstorm. I can feel God's presence in a subtle way but nothing dramatic like a miracle or sign. Held back by the lack of sunshine I sit at the window and wait.

Ready Yet?

2006-03-22T08:31:00.000-06:00

"Romans 8:19 The created world itself can hardly wait for what's coming next. 20Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in 21until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead. Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens."

I read this passage to my 8 year old last night and ask him how God will know when creation and the created are ready. What do we need to do to be ready?

He replied, "My theory is that God is watching us. He isn't worried about our sin because Jesus took care of that so our sin doesn't count. But God is seeing how many times we could have sinned but chose to do good instead. When he counts up enough of those, we are ready."

Check the Fruit

2006-03-21T08:25:00.000-06:00

Ever wonder if something is from God. Check the fruit.

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Goodness
Kindness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-control

The Holy Spirit produces fruit in everything that is from God. (Gal 5:22)

Life After the Fall

2006-03-16T17:21:00.000-06:00

We have all experienced a personal encounter with "life after the fall" when we first realized the fairy-tale was over. Are you afraid to think about yours or is yours all too real to you? Is it a divorce, the loss of a loved one, a chronic illness, or a job that you despise going to? Maybe your fairy-tale ended much earlier in life with the divorce of your parents, death of a sibling or parent, or a chronic illness in childhood.
Did you give up on paradise after the fall or search for it in all the wrong places? Are you angry at the angel keeping you out of the garden of eden or battling God to let you back in? Did you build up a wall around your heart and choose to never let it reveal it's desire for paradise again?
I was listening to John Lennon's "Imagine" yesterday and I realized for the first time how wrong he was. He posits if there were no heaven and no hell we would all live as one and everything would be wonderful. I thought if there were no heaven above us and no hell below us then heaven and hell would be trying to co-exist on earth; sound familiar?
I used to get frustrated reading the scripture that instructs us to focus on the eternal and not worry about worldly things. How God? I would ask. I have to live here. I have eat, breath, and experience this world because you put me here. "Imagine." Imagine heaven on earth. The instruction is not to quit living but to imagine heaven on earth. Put our sights on heavenly things and consider eternal consequences of our actions. God didn't want to us limit our vision but to expand it. He wants us to see through the hell on earth and to find the heavenly things.

Great Expectations

2006-03-05T15:42:00.000-06:00

John Eldredge wrote in his book, The Journey of Desire, "Now what if I told you that this is how it will always be, that this life as you now experience it will go on forever just as it is, without improvement of any kind? Your health will stay as it is, your finances will stay as they are, your relationships, your work, all of it will remain the same forever." Are you disappointed?
Most of us would be because God has put a longing in our hearts for more than anything thing life on this earth can offer us. We try to get it right, we even see glimpses of it but they are fleeting and often unnoticed. God has put in our hearts a great desire for more than we can even imagine. And although it will not be filled in this life--- God calls us to him with it. He wants us to keep searching for it and keep asking for it and keep longing for it. Do not be discouraged but let God keep drawing your heart toward it, toward the perfect life He has prepared for you?
In the meantime as we learned in our Sunday's teaching this week, we should expect great things from God. The woman who reached to touch Jesus' robe expected that touch to heal her and she was not disappointed. God is revealing to us the secret life he has placed in our hearts. We should expect it to be filled "On earth as it is in heaven." It is the Great Expectation--- that God can and will fulfill the longing in our hearts for LIFE--- the LIFE Jesus already claimed victory for us. Do not let the search discourage you--- move from one glimpse to the next glimpse, take note of the glimpses with great Joy, and in between anticipate the next glimpse with GREAT EXPECTATION!

A Great Day to Be Alive!

2006-02-28T13:30:00.000-06:00

I decided it was time to move past my anger management post. That post has served me well and I have to say we are all better now. There is an air of peace over our home which is such a blessing. It could be the weather... isn't it awesome! 60 degrees right in the middle of Kansas in February. I am talking about the weather, LOL! As you can see I have a touch of topic-block. That is similar to writer's block but in the blogging world it means not finding the inspiration for a well-defined subject.
It could have to do with the fact that I just completed the first and very rough draft of my book. It was over three years in the making. The procrasination was all mine and the grace of the Lord kept pushing me to the finish line. I am well ahead of my May deadline and taking a breather to finish up my taxes. After the taxes are filed I will be putting the final touches on the book and sending it off to publishers for their final rejections! Not really. I am going to pray about the publisher and let the Lord lead me to the one he is preparing for my query letter right now! Amen.
I feel the need to stop and breath in and breath out. Why is that? I suppose it is the sigh of relief and the breath of a new beginning. What will I do without that unfinished book staring at me from all the corners of my life and home? One guess... it probably has to do with manual labor.
Yes.. I suppose I'll be pounding in tee-posts, building fences. Did I mention the electric fence kicked my butt the other day? Wow, that packs a punch. I am certain my heart stopped. It didn't help that I had my other hand resting on the tee post. Right across the chest! My muscles are still requivering but I feel good. "It's a great day to be alive!" Praise God!

Anger Management 101

2006-02-22T08:40:00.000-06:00

Today I got an interesting lesson in anger management. After throwing a little fit with the kids this morning, God dealt with me directly in my morning bible reading. If you know me really well, you may know that I have a tendency to once in awhile lose my temper, which doesn't mean I can't find it. I find Webster's definition of temper 3a-- just fine. 3a. A tendency to become easily angry or upset. However, it is definition 2 that I tend to lose. 2. Calmness of mind or emotions: COMPOSURE.
Since I have been walking with the Spirit, this is one area I have truly been working on. No more 3b's that make your husband insist you go out and wait in the car while he let's the repair shop walk all over us. 3b. An outburst of rage. It's not like I was making it up, they were going on an Easter egg hunt and we were paying for the eggs!
I have been doing a lot better since I got churched too. Not only was God convicting me of my 3a. temper but he was putting in place ways to help me control my fits of rage. We were just getting to know too many people to have a good knock down drag out argument in the middle of Walmart. But still when you feel you are being wronged, it's hard to keep that emotion down inside where things tend to be bubbling up and want to come out.
My kids are quick to tell me that what I thought I said politely was a little harsh. So last time I was getting upset at the Best Buy Geek Counter where the geek was explaining that my warranty may not cover the repairs because there was a dent on the front right corner of my laptop even though it had nothing to do with the power cord not working on the back left corner, I took a deep breath. I asked God for mercy, and blurted out, "I am trying not to get upset here but you are making me very upset." Then I forced a smile on my face and waited. The geek replied, "I am not trying to make you upset, mam. But I will write down that although there is a dent it is booting up. I just wanted you to know they may label it abuse which is not covered under the warranty. They will call before you incur any charges." With the deep breath I was holding in, I let out a "Thanks," and thought to myself, "It's your money Lord so I am just going to leave it in your hands."
The whole point of Anger Management is changing what we are telling ourselves in the middle of an emotional crisis. My morning's bible reading of Psalm 39 captured it so eloquently in these words of the Psalmist:
"I said to myself, 'I will watch what I do and not sin in what I say.
I will hold my tongue when the ungodly are around me.'
But as I stood there in silence--- not even speaking of good things--
the turmoil within me grew worse.
The more I thought about it, the hotter I got, IGNITING A FIRE OF WORDS."
Ever had that happen to you? You try not get angry but the harder you try the hotter you get and then the pressure builds up until it just pops the top and spews out your mouth.
I think there is a key phrase in this Psalm that could easily go unnoticed, "not even speaking of good things." Trying not to say anything just lets all that pressure build up but if we start thinking of something good to say it can really diffuse the emotions around the situation. Coming up with something good to say can keep your mind productive and off of the thoughts that make you hotter than you already are. I tried that when I said, "I don't want to be upset but your upsetting me." Its the best I came up but it was better than some of the things I was thinking about saying like, "You people are always trying to find ways to get out of paying for repairs under that warranty!" I thought it; didn't say it; Praise God!
Another helpful anger management tool comes right out of Psalm 39 as well.
"Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me my days are numbered--- how fleeting my life is.
You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath."
We don't have time to rebuild the relationships that fits of rage destroy. Our time is fleeting and we need to use it wisely, building up the people we love, not tearing them down. Our days are numbered and we need to use them to encourage and build up every person we meet and interact with.
So, if you're like me, you'll need the tools from Psalm 39 to find that 2. temper. 2. Calmness of mind or emotions: COMPOSURE.
Here they are again:
#1 Speak out Good Things to defuse your inner turmoil.
#2 Be reminded how brief your time on earth will be, how fleeting your life is.
#3 Be reminded how your days are numbered and make each day and every interaction count.

Unforgiveness and Silly Putty

2006-02-20T10:17:00.000-06:00

Unforgivness is like silly putty. You hide your silly putty in your pocket and it gets into the cloth of your jacket. You forget all about hiding it in your pocket until one day you stick your hand in your pocket and the silly putty gets stuck on your glove. You don't realize it is out of your pocket, no longer where you hid it but now on your glove. You reach out to hug your child and it gets stuck on the back of his coat. He sits down next to you at church and the silly putty gets stuck on the back of the chair. When he gets up and leaves for children's church, there it is. A large neon green blob is sticking on the back of the chair he was sitting in and you wonder... how the heck did that darn silly putty get out of my pocket onto that chair. So you sit in church trying to pick the putty out of the seat so it doesn't rub off on anyone's clothes.
The truth about silly putty is it gets in between the fibers of every peice of clothing it touches. You can remove the bulk of it but it leaves behind a slick surface where the putty is down in between each fiber ruining the fabric and transferring itself to every peice of fabric that touches it there after.
Unforgiveness is like silly putty. You hide an offense against someone in your heart thinking it is out of sight of out of mind. You forget all about hiding it in your heart until one day you open up your heart to someone else entirely and either can't love them or trust them and you don't really understand why. You don't realize it is an old offense that got stuck onto your new relationship. Even the way you love your children can be effected by the old offense and a little rubs off on them and the way they treat others. You don't even know this is happening until one day while you are sitting in church the Holy Spirit brings this person who long ago offended you to your mind. You think, "Why the heck am I thinking about that person?" And slowly the Spirit begins to pick at your heart removing the bits and peices of offenses and unforgiveness from deep down into the fibers of your very soul. Because offenses slime their way in between the hidden fibers of our heart, our soul, and our mind.
The only way to get rid of them is to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal your unforgiveness to you and start picking it out. I have also heard coating it with peanut butter before washing helps too!

To Delete or Forward, that is the Question!

2006-02-19T20:14:00.000-06:00

I knew I wasn't going to buy into forwarding the email because of the threatening comment at the end that said if I didn't send it to ten people in 10 seconds bad things would happen. But it was a really good poem and I truly do have people on my email list I love and want to let them know I love them so possibly I could forward it on for that reason. Yet, I had already sent loving emails to much of my email list just prior to reading this email. So no pressure, I decided not to pass it on.
However, the dilemna I faced was do I reply to the sender and let them know that I don't believe in threatening emails of a superstitious nature. Or better yet, could I figure out who the originator of the email was and let them know that I believe superstition is the work of the deciever and God doesn't need schemes or threats to get his emails passed on. Was this a moment to instruct the sender in proper Christian behavior which was above superstition and good luck charms but rather a Christian should be walking victoriously in Christ without fearing threats of bad luck and doom on you chants?
HMMMM.....better 'DELETE.'
Now why would I delete such an opportunity to disciple a fellow Christian or evangelize an unbelieve? Although I felt I passed the first test immediately, walking in faith and not letting the fear of bad luck pressure me into forwarding the email, the decision to delete was simple. A house divided can not stand. The deciever wanted me to make a big deal out of the email and divide me and my family member on the good luck issue. Whether there was or was not good luck and therefore persuade me to engage in an argument and sever the relationship we were building. But this time, God had the victory... delete that scheme right off the page.
If I want to evangelize, I can just send out my own beautiful, loving email to the sender without any threats attached.

Grace and Truth

2006-02-13T09:33:00.000-06:00

We all need grace and truth and boy, did we need it this morning. Well, I really need the grace part. We had an awesome teaching about grace and truth yesterday. At least that is the part that really caught my attention. I was unable to focus a lot while he was teaching about peace because I had a headache and was very irritable all morning.
Seems to be a theme this week, I was irritable this morning too and luckily remembered the message about grace and truth. You can not just get God's peace right in the middle of a heated argument with your son. Yes, I remembered that part of the teaching. You must build peace. The seed is planted and by God's grace it grows until you have peace before you even enter the situation which caused the heated argument.
The truth is we need to look at this situation that caused the heated argument, which actually wasn't an argument but was more about me complaining so much that the cashier at the gas station smiled and said, "Have a great day, mom!" To which I replied, "Thank you so much for listening. I feel a lot a better now." And we all, including my son, laughed on the way out. That was God's grace for sure.
So how do we build a foundation of peace for the next situation that arises out of the sheer frustration I have been having with this boy. I realized that is the problem. He is still a boy but the trickery comes into play because he looks like a man so it throws you for a loop when he acts like a boy. However, I know my job as a parent is to expect him to act like a responsible man and yet, offer grace when he blows it by recognizing he is learning to perfect that role and not very experienced at it.
I have no idea what my excuse is. This is my third child that has been in this phase and I still can't seem to get it right. Some parents just give up and shrink back from the truth. God gave us the responsibility to train up our children in the way they should go. I will not quit trying to do that, I embrace the truth, though I feel so unqualified for the task. Thank God for his grace.

Thanks, Mom

2006-02-11T19:36:00.000-06:00

My mom read my blog!! I can't explain how cool that is. Possibly the feeling may be captured by reading my post called, "The Blog!". But my mom read my blog! I think it could be funny, or possibly an entry in the DSM-IV, how at 45 years old parental approval means so much. Of course, she didn't evaluate the blog, good or bad, but my mom read my blog!

I am struggling with my own children's need of my approval. I always thought they knew how great I thought each of them were but for some reason none of them think I think they are good enough. And a few of the braver ones have been letting me know this lately. It is very sad because they are each so dear to me. They are my life as much as they at least say they wish I would get my own life. So now I am in this bind, because if I start telling them how great they are now they just think I am saying it because they said I never do. And when I do tell them they think I am just saying it cause I am their mom. Now if a dad tells their kid they are great, kids believe it, but when moms say it they are just saying it because they are a mom and that is what moms do. That was explained to me by more than one of my children. No wonder my kids are struggling with a need of my approval.

I guess we never outlive that need for parental approval. Although I am finding that it is not necessarily approval I seek from my parents but rather just that they notice my life. That they take time to listen to my heart, read my blog (hee, hee), see what is happening, and not fix it but just know if things are good or bad. And to take the time to say something as simple as, "Mike's [my late husband's] birthday is Monday." Well, that means so much. It means they noticed.

Life is good, cause hey, my mom read my blog! Thanks, Mom.

Angels

2006-02-07T10:01:00.000-06:00

He will send his angels with a mighty blast of the trumpet and they will gather his chosen ones from all over the world and from the farthest ends of heaven (Matthew 24:31)

Two men will be working in a field; one will be taken, the other left.
Two women will be grinding flour at the mill; one will be taken, the other left. (Matthew 24:40)

Send an angel before me to protect me on my journey and lead me safely to the place your have prepared for me. Amen.

Songs of Joy Anchor Each Day

2006-02-06T10:37:00.000-06:00

"Where morning dawns and evening fades, You call forth songs of joy!" Psalm 65:8

God really laid this scripture on my heart one evening as I watched the sunset off my father-in-law's deck. I was in the middle of growing out of the darkness of grief and my days were emotional rollercoaster rides. The sunrise and the sunset became the anchors on my day. My refuge where I knew that no matter how my day was going I could go stand in the Joy of the Lord as the morning dawned and evening faded. I decided then that I didn't want to miss one of them on my life's journey, not one sunrise or one sunset, not one of God's songs of Joy!

The Haunting

2006-02-02T08:28:00.000-06:00

We try to uncover the mysteries in the morning light, but there is a whole other world out on the ranch at night. We know this because our dogs carry on so barking at things we have never seen during the day. Often I will get up to see what they are so upset about but I can see nothing out in the dark. I believe them though because in the morning there are often signs of the other life. The pole barn is wrecked with garabage scattered or feed barrels over turned and attempts made to open them. I have had to strap the lids on now because whatever the mysterious animal is they have learned to unlock my lockable barrels.
Last night was a little different though. I was woken not by my dogs barking but by a cackling mix of wimpers and distant howling. The eeiry part was that the dogs were not barking and the cackling was moving closer to my bedroom window as it approached from the pole barn. Hairs rose on the back of my neck as they moved past and descended down into the lower pasture. There were many of them, possibly a pack, as they loudly moved past as if celebrating a conquest. I listened carefully for the sound of horses in distress but heard nothing. Again, I thought, why do I not hear the dogs that bark at every branch that blows by.
I got up and looked out on the deck to see if I could see them but I saw nothing except my Austrialian Sheperd sitting on a lounge chair with her ears perked but remaining very still and quiet. There was no sign of the puppy.
I made the decision to scope out the property in the morning. As the horizon lit up well enough to see, I would venture out and calculate the damage. The puppy ran up to the bedroom sliding doors as soon as I mentioned his name to my son who was preparing to brush his teeth. "Did you hear that pack, last night." I asked. "Funny, I didn't hear the dogs barking and Samson wasn't on the porch." Yelp, yelp, now he shows up at the door.
"What was it, coyotes?" He asked, "I knew we shouldn't have moved here. The place is haunted that is why the other people wanted to move."
"Coyotes are not ghosts. They are just wild animals."
"It's the night time. Anything you can't see during the day that comes out at night is trying to haunt you."
I guess we got haunted then but this morning I felt a little victorious, the horses were all okay, all the cats and both dogs showed up for the morning feeding frenzy, and to my surprise my strategically placed barrels had not even been over turned. Victory!

The Enemy's Camp

2006-02-01T12:25:00.000-06:00

Last summer I had a vision during a personal battle with those who justify tolerance of sin. I was struggling to understand how Jesus could love sinners and yet, hate sin. God showed me the enemy's camp was like a POW camp where the lost and some unconvicted believers were held by Satan. As disciples of Christ we were to go in and rescue the POWs.
If you start bombing the camp, your mission fails. You must, with Christ's leadership, strategically go in and rescue them. These POW's are the lost and the hurting, the head strong and weak, strangers and our loved ones. They are not the enemy. Satan is the enemy.
Sometimes I feel like I have to convince them to leave. I know the way out but they don't want to come. We must show them through the testimony and witness of our own lives that it is better in the other camp. Satan is decieving them and they are convinced that they are right. Sometimes I listen to their twisted reasoning and they almost convince me. It is important not to stay in the camp too long or run the risk of be trapped in it yourself. However, we must continue to follow our leader into the camps to attempt to rescue them. The Victory has already been won. The time is now. The mission is clear.

In God I Trust

2006-01-29T18:44:00.000-06:00

Yesterday at my son's basketball game the half-time testimony was about trusting God. The gentlmen told a story about a millionaire acquintance he was with who stopped to pick up a penny off the sidewalk, pausing and then putting the penny in his pocket. He asked the millionaire, "Certainly you don't need to be picking up the change off the street do you believe in the good luck myth? Shouldn't you be putting the penny in your shoe?"
The millionaire replied, "Have you ever read a penny? We pass these coins between us every day and never give it a second thought but everyone of them says, "IN GOD WE TRUST." I have found that whenever I find a penny the next thing that happens requires a substantial trust in God. So now, I pick up the coin, read the words, "In God We Trust," and pray. Often when I am facing something difficult God places a coin in front of me to remind me to always trust Him to get me through it."
Today in church I was praying about a spiritual battle I am facing. I felt strongly that I should set up an appointment with the pastor to discuss it but I didn't want to wait. I needed to approach him immediately after the service and often that is a difficult time because many people like to approach him after his sermon and it can be very distracting trying to get your thoughts across and usually results in making a later appointment anyway.
Feeling quite nervous about approaching him, I bowed my head down to pray as the last song was playing. At the tip of my shoe was a dime, so I confidently picked it up and smiled as I read, "In God We Trust." Not just a penny's worth, I thought, but ten times!
At the end of the service, the pastor announced that if anyone wanted to discuss more about partnership to meet him in the fellowship hall. We ran into each other right outside the door of the sanctuary and he said, "Good to have here today." Confidently I remembered the dime in my pocket and said, "Thanks. I am going to meet you in the fellowship hall." I thought to myself, "I do have a question about partnership although it seems trivial in light of this spiritual assault."
Since no one else attended the meeting, I was able to share my heart about the spiritual attack I was under without distraction. The result was a spiritual partnership for R4C Ranch.
That was 10 times more than I even thought to ask for. "In God I Trust"

Only In America

2006-01-27T15:10:00.000-06:00

God Bless America!
Drive thru breakfast may be available in many countries these days, but only in America can you drive through once and be served by people of three diverse ethnic groups. This morning I stopped at the drive through of the golden arches and ordered my breakfast into the speaker-phone. I stopped at the first window and paid my ticket to a rather small man of African descent. Then I pulled to the next window and a Hispanic woman handed me my drink and with english words that rolled off her tongue with a heavy spanish accent she asked, "Would you pull up dare to wait for your food?" I pulled up to the drive thru and wait slots hoping I wouldn't have to wait too long. To my surprise a shorter man than the first came to my window within minutes. I recognized that he was of Japenese descent which didn't really surprise me being in America and all. But when he bowed to me, you know like they do in Japan, I was really taken by surprised. The biggest smile came over my face, "Thank you," I almost shouted at him more for the bow than the bag of food. I had seen the custom often on television shows but never actually had anyone do that to me. I have to say, "It made me feel very special." What a blessing!

The Sailboat

2006-01-26T08:24:00.000-06:00

It's not about what happens, it is about what you do with it when it happens. It is tempting to second guess what you did to cause a particular outcome, but after reading Exodus and the plagues and all that, I think I realize that God will use any situation for his purpose. God gets his point across by causing unexpected outcomes from our best efforts. It is not the effort that produced an outcome that is important but rather our response to the outcome.
When the outcome is good we tend to pat ourselves on the back and think, that was a great effort. When the outcome is something unexpected we think our effort failed. But actually neither reaction is correct. Neither the good outcome or the unexpected outcome can be credited to our effort but rather is the result of God's will. So it is more important to concentrate on what to do with the outcome than on the effort itself. How is it that God is moving you to respond to the outcome of your efforts?
I had a vision once of a sailboat. The boat was still on the water, becalmed. It was very similiar to an afternoon I spent in a becalmed sailboat with my father. Its great sails were stretched high above it, yet, it did not move. The sails drooped toward the water with no wind to move them. The rudder moved back and forth but could not turn the boat. It could not go forward, it could not go back, it could not be turned in either direction. It was becalmed, destined to sit on the water in the middle of the lake and do nothing.
What I realized from this vision is that the only important thing about effort, is that we make an effort at all; lift the sails up, pray for wind. The sail boat must be moving forward in order to be turned. If your sails are down, no wind is going to move that boat. God can not direct you if you are not moving. Ask the Lord to send the Holy Spirit in your life to be the wind in your sails. Let Jesus be the rudder, pointing your vessel toward the Father, our God, who awaits us on the other side. A lighthouse beaconing us toward him.
The thing about a moving sailboat is that there is always outcome that can be changed. If the boat is moving, it can be turned around, it can be turned left or right, or it can be allowed to gain momentum in the direction it is going. Once the sails are up, the effort is not what is important. What is important is who we let steer our rudder.
It is important to know where you want to go and stay pointed in that direction. As long as you have lifted the sails, no further effort on your part will move the boat. You must have the wind in the sails to move. All you are asked to do is lift your sails and receive the wind. Asking Jesus to guide your rudder and pointing your outcomes toward God. Even if you are going full-speed in the wrong direction, as long as you are willing to 'come about' you can change your direction.
After much effort on my part to ensure a particular outcome, something totally unexpected happened to me. All my preparation resulted in something I was totally not prepared for. My gut reaction is to ask, "What did I do to get that outcome so I can make sure I never do it again?" However, after prayerful consideration, I realize that I can not take credit for the outcome. I need to evaluate the situation based on what God is trying to do through it. Not what caused the outcome, but what does the outcome need from me. Do I need to turn left or right, change direction, or gain momentum in the direction I am already heading?

Wisdom, Strength, & Victory

2006-01-23T15:32:00.000-06:00

Today I listened to the President speak at a Question and Answer session at Kansas State University. The answer he gave to the question, "As a man of character, how do you deal with the attacks on your character?," caught my attention. His answer, "Faith, Family, and Friends and of course, {implied: when it gets real sticky}, Barney, my dog."

The President was right on today, better than I have ever seen him. He said, "When you make hard decisions, things get a little sticky. I am sustained by the many Americans, more than I can ever thank, who are praying for me." In addition to requesting a prayer covering over your daily life, surrounding yourself with supportive family and friends, and having the joy of a good pet to take care of who will love you unconditionally; the President encouraged all Americans to keep the important things in perspective. He said, "If you know something is important you have to schedule it in, like prayer and exercise." He emphasized the importance of both praying and exercising regularly and I have to agree.

Since I started my exercise program, not only does my brain seem clearer but my tasks seem lighter. I also scheduled a weekly time to pray over my home and family members and it has been such a blessing. I enjoy the time thinking about each member and their needs. God has blessed me with so many answers and praise reports through these prayers. In so many areas where we just struggled and stumbled along, victory has come through just because we have asked for it. And you can just read this blog and realize what a blessing our horses and dogs and often our cats!, have been in our lives. "Ask the animals and they will teach you... for which of these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this. In His hands is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind." Job 12:6

May God continue to bless America and give His wisdom, strength, and victory to our President.

Where the Messes Are

2006-01-23T10:33:00.000-06:00

"An empty stable stays clean, but no income comes from an empty stable." Proverbs 14:4 NLT
"Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox comes an abundant harvest." Proverbs 14:4 NIV
" 4 Når der ikke er Okser, er Laden tom, ved Tyrens Kraft bliver Høsten stor." Proverbs 14:4 Dansk

Things are going to get a little messy in order for God to produce a great harvest. If you don't have to muck up a mess now and then, you probably aren't producing anything worthwhile.

God is producing an abundant harvest, down where the messes are.

Thank God I'm A Horse-woman

2006-01-18T11:24:00.000-06:00

If I would have been a horse-woman when my children were little, I would have broken big jobs down into smaller tasks more. I would have asked, gotten out of their way, and allowed them to try more. If I would have been a horse-woman when my children were little I would have made them doing the right thing a lot easier and doing the wrong thing much more difficult for them. If I would have been a horse-woman when my kids were little, I would have used show-sheen on their manes and bought providine at the feed store in the big jug for a lot less. If I would have been a horse-woman when my children were little, I would have rewarded them with praise on every real try and made sure I didn't reward them when they didn't try. I would have found an opportunity to always end our encounters on a good try.

If I would have been a horse-woman when I was married, I would have made more time to take my husband out to play. I would have groomed him more and returned him to his own space when I was done. If I would have been a horse-woman when I was married, I would have complained about his messes a lot less and just hired a ranch-hand to clean up after him. I would have soothed his aching muscles more, allowed him time to get used to new ideas more, asked for more of the things he was good at giving, and found more reasons to praise his good tries.

If I would have been a horse-woman when my children were little, I would have learned a lot more about sibling herd dynamics. I would have stayed out of the way more and let the kids work out their own pecking order. If I would have been a horse-woman when I was married, I would have understood the need for some studs to be dominant and I would have gotten out of the way and let my husband be the leader. I would have learned to lead from within the herd and been more comfortable with my placement at the second bucket and more thankful to have a good leader.

If I would have been a horse-woman back then, I would have been a better wife and mother. I would have had more fun, less worries, and just enjoyed the ride more. Thank God I am a horse-woman now! Watch out!

A Women's Spirit

2006-01-17T09:43:00.000-06:00

There is something inquisitive about a Woman's Spirit. I learned this first from my mother who always saved the last peice of pie for herself. Of course, she waited patiently to make sure everyone else got a peice and though none was ever left over for her she seemed perfectly content watching everyone else enjoy a peice. A woman does things for everyone around her and somewhere finds energy to do more. No one seems to notice that nothing has been done for her. However, curiously enough she waits to take care of herself after she has cared for everyone else. But after caring for everyone else's needs there is no time left for her to care for her own needs. You would think this would wear her down and sometimes she thinks that it has. But even more curious is all it takes to recharge her for another round, to refuel her for the long haul, to satisfy her soul, is a mumbled, mouth-ful, "Great pie, mom," as the back door slams. Though alone with the dirty dishes, her spirit is lifted and she's off again when all others would have been crushed and defeated long ago.

I'm the Leader

2006-01-16T10:16:00.000-06:00

I rode Jazz yesterday. It was an awesome 60 degrees; a beautiful day at the ranch. The ride was a little less than the wind in your mane type of ride. We worked on our turns and she was agreeable to the whole thing for a while. However, when I decided to go work on our turns around the haybales and farther from Zippi racing up and down the fence next to us, she was a little less agreeable. So when I thought I was giving a cue to make a right turn in the opposite direction that Jazz wanted to go, I was actually giving a cue to sidepass in the direction Jazz wanted to go; at least that is how Jazz interpreted the cue. With Jazz's neck arched beautifully toward my toes, her body moved gracefully sideways toward the barn.

One thing I forgot to mention, I am not that good of a rider. I didn't even know I knew the cue for sidepassing yet. It must be very close to the cue for turn your darn head to the right and let your hindquarters follow it around in a circle. I think Jazz was just showing off. When I asked her to circle to a stop, she circled to a trot. What a showoff! Like I didn't know she could trot.

I think Jazz had forgotten that I was the leader. She wanted to play, "I'll beat you to the barn."

"Oh I know this game. We've played it before. You try to run out from under the saddle as fast as you can." It's a pretty thrilling game but I just wanted to play follow the leader and I wanted to be leader! "I'm the leader. We'll go to the barn when I say so. Hurry, let's go to the barn!"

Rest Home

2006-01-13T23:20:00.000-06:00

I read a brochure this afternoon recommending "Top Time-Saving Tips" which included a little tidbit on relaxing and recharging. I whole-heartedly agree that rest is important. God set the example for us and rested on the seventh day. What I found odd were the suggestions for how to relax. With recommendations like get a manicure, jog in a park, or buy yourself an ice cream cone, I am stressed with the thought of having to get out in the frigid cold to run in the park, make another inconvenient appointment in my day for the manicure, or fight traffic to run out and get an ice cream cone. This would not reduce my stress level one bit.

My recommendation: Stay Home. Design a 'Rest Home.' Create as many ways to relax in your home as you can and then use them. When my house gets chaotic, I like to start off in my bedroom. I set up a place to relax with either lots of stackable pillows on my headboard or a recliner with a reading lamp. Then in the morning tidy up the room, make the bed, spray a mist of air freshner, and close the door on the way out. When you are done running yourself ragged with your to-do list, you'll open the bedroom to a wonderful surprise exclaiming, "Awesome! The maid was here," forgetting the fact you are the maid. There is nothing more relaxing.

Create lots of relaxing nooks and crannies in your home like a reading corner or a two person breakfast table. Make sure you have a place that is quiet, no tv, to retreat to. Not all relaxation has to be quiet. I enjoy relaxing at the piano playing worship music. There is nothing like a warm, bubble bath with some soft music and a glass of wine.

I do not find getting into my car relaxing or unstressful. It is always a task on a to-do list even if it is fun. On my hectic schedule, there is nothing more relaxing than the opportunity to spend some quality time relaxing in my home.

A Year of Jubilee

2006-01-09T11:46:00.000-06:00

Last year, January 2005, a prophetic word came to our church from several sources that our church and its members would experience a year of Jubilee. Now, my personal interpretation of Jubilee was "a joyful celebration." 2005 has been a joyful celebration for myself and my family. We sold our house (that was a miracle in itself) and bought our country home on 77 acres (another major miracle). We named it R4C Ranch, a dream that came out of a series of visions I have had for 'Riders for Christ.' The Lord assured me he wanted to give me fine things as a husband would give his wife and I must tell you I have not been let down. It has truly been a year of Jubilee.

Sunday, however, I received another definition for the word Jubilee, "Release." In biblical times the year of Jubilee came every seven years. It was a time when all debts were erased, slaves were set free, and people had a chance to start over. And I have to say, we had that too.

In 2005 God set me free of a number of things from pain to debt to old ways of thinking. It truly was a year of Jubilee in the fact that so many things were released and I was truly set free. I sense that although I can and will list many here, there were many more things released that are more difficult to put your finger on. I would expect a release of one or two things in a good year but in 2005 it really did feel like the entire slate was wiped clean and a new story began in my life.

The Question was asked: What did God set you free of in 2005? Here's my bulleted, short list:

All my credit card debt.
My dissatisfaction with my job (although I still have the same job).
My need to hang on to Mike through material objects (like the house, his clothes, etc.)
Fear of pursuing big dreams without a husband.
The burden to change my kids.
The entrapment of remembering past hurts.
Dependency and expectations on fellowship.
Satan's lies and deceptions in family relationships.
Needing to micro-manage God's plan for the ranch.

An Intimate Moment with God

2006-01-06T09:24:00.000-06:00

Sarah, age 90, overheard God tell Abraham, age 99, "I'll come back this time next year and your wife, Sarah, will have a son!"Sarah laughed silently to herself and thought, "How can a worn-out woman like me enjoy such a pleasure? And Abraham is also old."

Then the Lord said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh?" [Laughing to himself I am sure] God said, "Is anything too hard for the Lord?"

Sarah was afraid and denied it, "I didn't laugh."
But the Lord said, "No, you did laugh." (Genesis 16:10-15 NLT)

"Did not."
"Did to."
"Did not"
"Did. Come on, Sarah. It's me, God. Don't you think I can hear you when you laugh?"

About Church

2006-01-05T11:59:00.000-06:00

What I want in a church. I had been searching for a home church since I moved in May. I have been hoping to find a church in my community, the small town of Tonganoxie, so long I have forgotten whether it was my personal desire or a direction I received from the small quiet voice of the Holy Spirit. My desire to find a local church combined with my desire to meet some locals, make new friends, and be able to be close enough to engage fully in the ministry and leadership of the church. My feelings of frustration with finding a church home as well as my children finding a place of joyful worship and connection within the church has led me to do a little soul searching. What is it that I truly want in a church? What is the purpose of church anyway?

What I want in church:

First of all I want a church whose beliefs and teachings are consistent with my primary beleifs:

The Infallibility of the scriptures
The Saving Grace of Jesus
The Literal Return of Christ to the Earth
The ability of all God's children to form a personal relationship with him through Christ, read his word, and recieve personally divine direction from the Holy Spirit.

Secondly, I want a church where I can enter in to worship in a style that welcomes God to inhabit the praises of his people.
Thirdly, I want a church that is spirit-led and encourages it's members to hear and follow the leading of the Spirit. The church should support and encourage members to stretch out possibly even leave the church to minister in their gifts.
Fourth, I want a church where I can fellowship with other believers for encouragement and growth in Christ, in my personal gifts and ministries, and in my daily life.
Fifth, I want a church where my children can learn about and be encouraged to know Jesus, to walk with Holy Spirit, in a fun and uplifting way. Not in more sit-down and shut-up and listen ways, with more rules and just another day of school way.

Now, is that too much to ask?

What I need in a church:

I need fellowship, close enough that someone notices if I don't show up.
I need intimacy, people who know something about my life Monday through Saturday and care about what happens.
I need to feel as if I contribute something of value to the church and its people.
I need to feel as if my voice is heard in the church and that my ideas are valued.

Why do we even go to church? Why not just read the scriptures at home alone with God?

Believers (Ephesians):

Bear with one another in love.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Prepare God's people for works of services so the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, and full in Christ.
To be taught to put off your old self, to be made new in the attitude of your minds, and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Put off falsehood and speak truthfully to our neighbors for we are all members of one body.
Speak to each other in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of the Lord.
Submit to one another in reverance for Christ.
To prayer for each other that God would give each of use the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation so we may know Him better.
To pray for each other that God would enlighten the eyes of our hearts in order that we may know the hope to which he has called us, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.
The power is like the working of his mighty strength which he exerted in Christ and which we are now a part of that Body, the body of Christ which was raised from the dead and seated at the right hand side of God in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion and every title that can be given.
God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is the body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.

"For the fruit of light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth... find out what pleases the Lord." A church, where each member is part of the body of Christ, should be what helps us find out what pleases the Lord and encourages each other to walk it out just as the members of our own body; our mind, our arms, and our legs; work together to take each step.

Overheard at the BP

2006-01-05T08:51:00.000-06:00

Today, driving through a small town on the way to work, I stopped at the BP to pick up a DP. I walked by a table of older, maybe retired gentlemen or farmers who never really retire. They all smiled and I smiled back. I got my bottle of pop and went up toward the checkout. Around the counter there were at least six men of various ages holding items they either had purchased or were going to purchase. I had a hard time figuring out if this was a line or a huddle. Alongside another gentlemen behind the counter the cashier rested his elbow on the cash register and everyone was focusing intently on the story being read from the local paper. It was about a marine named Aaron and his acts of heroism that had made the morning headlines.

I stopped short of the counter to determine if walking straight up to the cash register would be cutting in line. I listened to the rest of the story. The cashier looked up at me and I just lifted my bottle and he began punching some digits into his old fashion register. 85 cents. Cool, down the street at the new chain they were charging me $1.39. The BP facelift on the outside of this gas station, where they still fill up your tank and clean your windows for you, hadn't changed the small town feel inside.

"That's our Aaron" a man behind me insisted, "He was such a good boy."

"Now what was his buddy's name. He is over there too. Oh now that kid, he was such a trouble-maker."

"Oh yea.." They all chuckled as someone hollered out his name. "But now he is a marine. I'll bet he is kicking some butt."

I collected my change and stepped back from the counter. Another man approached and laid down a dollar bill for his coffee. "Way to go Aaron!" He chanted. "That's our boy."

"Her Children Rise"

2006-01-04T10:14:00.000-06:00

"Her children rise and call her blessed? (Proverbs 31)" I wonder how she does that. My children do not rise at all. They must be drug out of bed every morning. I love to get up in the morning and step out onto my deck and soak in God's presence. If I did not need to arise before the sun comes up, I can enjoy seeing the horses down in the pasture or enjoy God's songs of joy in the sunrise. Mornings can be so serene, even in the dark before the dawn, and then... it's time to call the kids.

It's like blowing up a balloon only to intentionally stick a pin in it. There must have been a mix up at the hospital when my babies were born. What did they do with the children that were going to rise up and call me blessed? Mine don't rise at all and if they do I assure you they call me anything but blessed. I don't sound or look very blessed by the fourth or fifth time I have to call them. As the minutes tick away and they haven't budged, as the dreaded mad dash to the bus stop approaches, I begin to look more frantic and stressed, if you can imagine.

Does anyone have children that rise and call them blessed? If you do please comment to this blog, we want to know your secret! I am not going to quit trying to hold the standard of the Proverbs 31 woman but as scripture says, she is a rare gem. If you have a child that rises willingly and without fret, feel very blessed. If you have two, you are truly blessed.

For me, I am working on ways to encourage the children to rise up on time and get out the door. But when kids turn 16, it is difficult to use some of the same methods we used when they were young. You can't pull their big toe like my dad used to do and they don't think 'water treatment' is fun anymore. You can't entice them with breakfast because they no longer eat before noon. I guarantee they will test you on your ability to really take away their vehicle for life and will torment you with procrastination until the very second the bus pulls around the corner.

The moment I know both my children are at school and will not be released until 3pm in the afternoon, is as peaceful as that first moment each morning I spend on the deck. I relish in the tranquility, knowing I am no longer up against the burden of my responsibility for them for 7 whole hours or until I get a call from the school whichever comes first. My dreaded morning duty, rising the children, is done and I can go about all my other duties knowing all other obstacles in my day will pale in comparison.

RBRR 'Site B'

2006-01-02T14:30:00.000-06:00

R4C Ranch is excited to be home to RBRR 'Site B.' River Bluff Rescue Ranch (RBRR) is the expanding ministry of founders Mike and Carol Poland. RBRR is a Christian not-for-profit corporation established to rescue broken horses and pair them with people for interactive healing.

Our newest herd members, pictured here with founder Mike Poland astride DJ, are Diamond Jim (DJ), Taffy, Punkin, and Stella.

Keep reading this Blog for more news about the horses, RBRR ministries, and the development of 'Site B' here at R4C Ranch. Also, check out Carol's RBRR01 blog for highlights about 'Site A' at Serendipity Farms in Platte City, MO.

Happy New Year

2006-01-02T09:50:00.000-06:00

The first post of the year, should it be reflective or inspirational? Is the end of the year a time of looking back or looking forward? Will the lessons we learned in 2005 help us make wise choices in 2006? According to Webster's dictionary, wisdom is understanding what is true, right, and lasting. Definitely the scriptures contain wisdom. They have lasted more than 2,000 years and the truth contained within them is still relevant for our lives today. I love pondering that.

The word of the Lord is worth remembering. It is given to us for strength, comfort, and wisdom. "There is nothing I can not master with the help of Christ who gives me strength (Phil 4:13 JB)." The more I learn about Christ in the scriptures the more He can help me. You may have learned that lesson over Christmas as you tried to give good gifts to people. The more intimately you know them, the easier to know what would make a good gift for them. Distant neices or nephews are difficult to buy for. Though you love them dearly, you don't know them well enough to discern a great gift for them. In order to exchange good gifts with God, stay in an intimate relationship with Him by learning all you can about him through study of His word and by telling him often the desires of your heart.

I think of wisdom as a type of learning that discerns truth from the past, whether it be your own experience or someone else's, for use in the future. Certainly the New Year marks a time to gain in wisdom so I will share a little wisdom from Sunday's teaching within this post . "Do yourself a favor and learn all you can; then remember what you learn and you will prosper (Proverbs 19:8 GN)." What did you learn in 2005? Remembering it will help you prosper in 2006.

Taking in account the lessons learned in 2005, it is wise to make plans for 2006. "An intelligent person aims at wise actions, but a fool starts off in many directions (Proverbs 17:24 GN)." Aim at something in 2006 by setting your goals now. Sunday's teaching encouraged us to set goals in four key areas: Intellectual, Physical, Spiritual, and Social. Similarly I encourage goal settings in eight areas: physical health; emotional health; intellectual knowledge; spiritual knowledge; intimate relationship with God; relationship with believers, family, and friends; physical ambience; and ambience with non-believers.

We are called to make productive use of our time and use all our God-given resources wisely. Through the study of God's word and Godly advisors we can work toward goals that make productive use of our time on earth and our lives here will matter in heaven. "I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven Matthew 16:19."

I hope you will share your goals in these areas by commenting to this blog. Writing them down increases your chances of accomplishing them.

2006 Goal Areas (Be Specific and Measureable)
Health: Physical; Emotional
Knowledge: Intellectual; Spiritual
Relationships: With God; With Family, Friends, and Fellowship
Ambience: Physical; In Ministry to Non-believers

My 2006 Goals:
Physical Health: I am going to work out to my Denise Austin DVD's at least 4X a week and cut down on the fast food by eating meals at home (no more than two meals out per week). REWARDS: Wear my Capri's riding this summer, have more energy for my chores and horseplay, and spend less money on eating meals.
Emotional Health: Without denying my feelings, I will keep my emotions in check by approaching those who offend me in love and honesty within one week of the offense. I will allow them to respond without any expections on my part. I will give the outcome to the Lord satisfied I did not harbour the hurt in my heart. REWARDS: Eliminate ulcers and be able to focus on the good relationships in my life each day and not run them off with anxiety and complaining about other people.
Intellectual Knowledge: I am going to finish researching and writing my book this year by completing the rough draft by May (6 chapters per month) and editing it for publication by September. REWARDS: Get this information into the hands of home managers looking for a great tool as well as possible financial rewards for improving the ranch.
Spiritual Knowledge: I am going to read the one year bible daily this year checking off each day's reading on the front calendar. REWARDS: Know God's heart and his clear step by step instruction for my life.
Relationship with God: I am going to spend each morning and/or evening where morning dawns and evening fades in Songs of Joy and intimate conversation with God. I am going to make a daily log of what I hear in the quiet voice of the Spirit. I have a list of places to meet God: On the deck watching a sunrise or sunset or the horses in the pasture, at the Piano singing songs of praise and worship, or alone in the garden praying. REWARDS: Drawing closer to God for the exchange of good gifts and the infilling of the Spirit to shine God's light to the world. "One tiny light in each of us, a ray of Hope ... "
Relationship with Family, Friends, and Fellowship: I am going to seek to make one close friend at my new church. I am going to start by attending the Wednesday night study group. I am going to prepare a meal at my home at least four nights each week for inimate conversations with the kids. I am going to make at least four phone calls a week to friends and family. I am going to begin having crockpot meals prepared at our house on Sunday afternoons/early evenings for friends and family and volunteers who show up at the ranch to work. REWARDS: Surrounded with Godly people for mutual encouragement and support.
Physical Ambience: I am going to create a tranquil home by creating a functional, clean, inviting haven for those who live here and all who visit. I am going to start by completing the 30 Day project and setting priorities in each area of home management. REWARDS: A home that functions without undue stress and is a place of refuge for all who enter in.
Spiritual Ambience: I am going to create a place for non-believers to mingle with believers in a non-threatening way at the ranch by opening up my home and property for guests each Sunday afternoon. For those who schedule to participate and those who just want to come out and watch what is going on. REWARDS: Seeing God heal hearts and save souls.

Interpreter Needed

2005-12-29T12:22:00.000-06:00

"There is plenty of water in the tank, mom."
Translated: "No, I didn't fill the water tank like you asked me to."

Stand Out!

2005-12-29T08:10:00.000-06:00

It may not have been a wrist-watch that the horses used to time my arrival at the gate yesterday. I am thinking maybe it was the thin line of sunshine peeking over the horizon which by the way didn't happen this morning. The field was hidden in a dark, misty fog. For you English majors, I know you may think misty fog is a little redundant but believe me this morning there is no other way to describe it. Needless to say, I didn't see the horses at the gate. I didn't expect to in the fog.

I directed my car's headlights toward the gate, hoping to see them wandering up but they were no where to be found. I called out, I whistled, I shook grain, and made a lot of noise as I worked. There was still no sign of the horses as I filled the last bucket. I decided to walk up the hill and do a personal check of the water tank to confirm yesterday's report, "There was plenty of water, mom." Translated, "No, I didn't fill the tank like you asked." From the vantage point of the tank at the top of the hill, I hoped to see the horses. I climbed. (Note to sister: 'Yes, stairs would be awesome.')

From the vantage point of the top of the hill I still saw no horses. Actually, I didn't see much pasture either, only fog stretching across the land for miles with little tops of trees poking out. I walked to the hot fence to make sure it was still up and running. Still calling, still whistling, and still shaking the portion of grain I retained for noise-making purposes, I thought I caught sight of a figure in the lower pasture. I walked toward it and began making out its shape. It was large and dark and a hay bale. The thought of having to make that dreaded phone call, "The horses are gone," beckoned.

I followed the fence to ensure there were no breaks in the line when a patch of the fog seemed to be lighter than the rest. Interesting how the fog began to take shape, the shape of a short white horse named Stella. "Oh Stella, It's you!" I called out. "Bless your heart." She looked up at me as Stella does. Curious from a safe distance and always keeping her eyes on me.

Stella is not adventureous, she doesn't put her curiousity into action. Curiousity is a wonder, where adventure is the experience of that wonder. It is putting aside our fears, even temporarily, and crossing over a point of no return without knowing the outcome.

Stella always calculates her safety. She watches me from the back of the herd. But she is always watching me, even more than the others. I can see in her eyes she longs to come to me but the fear of the unknown outcome keeps her from approaching, from leaving the safe protection of her herd to check me out. Thus, she misses out on the rewards I have to offer her, a scratch on her chin or a rub down her neck.

To really experience all the rewards God has to offer us we have to be willing to set aside our fear. I am not talking about wreckless abandonment of all caution and care but just a willingness to step into your dream and live it. I have to thank all of the people who encouraged me to step into my dream. Especially my sister, Carol, and her husband, Mike, and the Dailey's, who encouraged me to step out and take the chance and who promised to be there to help me if or rather when things went wrong. Most of all they were excited for me. I have to thank God for my neighbor who has been so willing to help us out whenever we hit a snag. We really had no clue what we were doing and what an adventure we are on.

Sometimes it's like this morning, stepping out into the dark, misty fog not sure what is out there. One step at a time, I continued to call to Stella hoping to find her herdmates were with her. Certainly they hadn't wandered off and left her. As I walked toward her I thought I saw movement but whatever was out there was blending in with the fog. You've seen fog. It's white isn't it? Maybe light shades of gray. How do three dark horses, even a black one disappear in white fog and yet a white horse shows up. As I walked closer I began to see a black figure emmerge almost three horse lengths in front of Stella. It was DJ with Taffy and Punkin, as usual, on his tail.

In that moment the seal was bonded, my heart to Stella. She had helped me find the herd. She made me realize how we all from the day of our birth to the day of our death have a purpose to fulfill on this earth. Stella is an older horse, maybe twenty-eight years old. She has probably seen her better days of riding and to try to work her too hard would be cruel. She has earned a rest but that doesn't mean she has out-lived her purposefulness. The fact is we never know our purpose until the moment God reveals it to us. Today, Stella's purpose was to stand out in the crowd! That is God's ultimate purpose for all of us-- to stand out in the crowd, to shine his light through us into a dark world.

40/60 God Meter

2005-12-28T12:16:00.000-06:00

"It used to be 100% to 0%. I liked God 100% and I didn't like God 0%. But now it is 40% to 60%. The 60% dislike God is all 60% because he let my dad die. The 40% like God is 10% because He let me see him twice, once from the airplane and the time when He looked like a golden camel, 10% because He made Christmas, 10% because He is the source of peace, and 10% because He let people invent TV and Videogames. " CJAB

The Intelligence of Horses

2005-12-28T11:02:00.000-06:00

I knew they were very smart creatures, I am surprised horses didn't get their own day in the creation story. At least they could have gotten a mention in Job 12, "Ask the horses and they will teach you!" I suppose the fact that horses were mentioned 175 times in scripture compared to a mere 40 times that dogs were mentioned does attest to their intelligence. It may explain why it took almost a full two weeks of pushing the dog in and out through the doggy door for him to realize he could do it himself. Although if standing at the doggy door whining until someone came to push you through works, why waste the energy attempting it yourself.

Horses however don't need as much time to figure things out. I did expect them to take few days, however, to figure out our new feeding routine. After all, they had been loaded into a trailer for the first time in ten years, unloaded into a new field almost fifty miles away, and had no clue who I was. The first morning after their arrival I had to convince them to come up near the gate for their morning feeding of grain. They stood off mid-field scoping me out but were more interested in visiting across the fence with the neighbor's horses.

I shook grain, whistled, called them by name. Finally, I walked half way down into the field. Again I shook grain, whistled, called them by name. Not convinced the leader, a large black gelding, decided to venture a few steps toward me but unimpressed returned to his neighborly chat. I encouraged them, "Come on, I don't have all day. I have to go to work." I really didn't want to leave the grain at the gate in hopes they would stumble upon it sometime during the day.

Tick... tick...tick. I was going to be late for work if I didn't convince them to come up and eat. I wanted them to find the grain close to where we would be feeding and not have to take it to them. The plan was to load the grain up in the trunk of the car and feed the horses each morning as we waited near the gate for the bus and then off to work. Surely, by the end of the week they would be used to me feeding in the morning and come when I called. Horses are smart that way.

I figured, not like the dog, the horses would figure it out by the end of the week and when school resumes after the holidays we'd have a quick routine down. Today, I decided to leave early so I could round them up and still be on time for work. I loaded up the trunk full of their grain and shiney new buckets and headed down the hill to the front gate.

It was still a little dark. As I turned the corner, a large figure down by the gate startled me. My headlights eventually illuminated the scene and huddled at the gate four very large equine figures came into view. You don't need to tell horses twice. No pushing them up to their grain buckets for almost two weeks until they catch on.

I'm sure they hadn't waited there for me all night. They hadn't been there when we stopped at the gate last night on the way in from town. Maybe one of them looked at their watch this morning and said, "Hay... it's six o'clock we better head to the gate. She'll be here soon." However they did it, they were there hoping things would happen the same way it happened the morning before and there I was! I guess that explains why horses are mentioned in scripture 135 more times than dogs. They hope, they act on their hopes, they figure things out.